Finding Self-Mastery Through Cacao Ceremonies and Conscious Intimacy Retreats with Anfisa Shimkevich | EP 25

How Do Old Spiritual Practices Help You with Self-Mastery?

This episode features an intimate conversation between Hélène and Anfisa, a self-mastery mentor who hosts conscious intimacy retreats. She shares her captivating journey that starts with Cacao Ceremonies while in India.

Anfisa opens up about her experiences with cacao ceremonies, highlighting how they're a powerful tool for your emotional and spiritual healing. She shares her strategies for not just surviving but thriving through these highs and lows.

Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction
12:30 - Achieving Self-Mastery for success and growth
19:38 - Secret Adventure, and Cacao Ceremony
23:05 - My Dad's Deportation
37:01 - Spotting Healthy Relationships
54:58 - Turning Expectations into Rituals for Success
01:09:04 - Embracing Connection and Overcoming Disconnection

Balancing personal growth with the demands of a child is a challenge she's navigating head-on. Her insights here are gold for anyone trying to find that elusive work-life balance.

This is a conversation that could spark your own journey of self-discovery. Anfisa doesn't just talk at you; she invites you to look within, question, and maybe even start walking your path of self-mastery.

Anfisa brings her fresh perspective as a new mom, discussing how motherhood has reshaped her approach to self-mastery. She is real and relatable, showing us how to find magic in the mundane.

Press play and start waking up every day and seeing your routine as a step towards empowering yourself.

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Chapters

• 12:30 Achieving Self-Mastery for Success and Growth
• 19:38 Secret Adventure, and Cacao Ceremony
• 23:05 My Dad's Deportation
• 37:01 Spotting Healthy Relationships
• 54:58 Turning Expectations into Rituals for Success
• 1:09:04 Embracing Connection and Overcoming Disconnection

Transcript

Hélène Ioannides [00:00:00]:
Welcome to HealthPod, your self development hub on mental health, psychology, and spirituality. People have a hard time connecting to themselves.

Anfisa [00:00:10]:
It's a hell of a job. In a woman, it goes through cycles. Right? It functions differently in the morning, in the evening, if the moon is full, if the tides are high or low. Right? If planets are think if we've got a heat wave or not, yeah, depending on the weather outside. I mean, not only women, men as well. Does this ever end? Does this ever end? What changes is that you don't stay in the know for as long as you did before.

Hélène Ioannides [00:00:52]:
Welcome back to another episode here on Health I'm Helene. I'm an empowerment and embodiment coach. And today, we're here with Anfisa, a self mastery mentor and a cacao ceremonialist. This. We're gonna be talking about her own personal journey, motherhood, and self mastery tips and tools that you can use. Now let's tune into the episode. We have Anfisa here with us on another episode of Health For Today. I I don't know you, Anfisa, but I loved you.

Anfisa [00:01:22]:
Thank you.

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:22]:
It's a it's a very strange connection, and it's a real pleasure to have you here today.

Anfisa [00:01:30]:
Thank you. It's an honor to be here. And I love to have this time to meet you better and to enjoy your company. I feel likewise, and, yeah, really looking forward.

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:42]:
Tell us a little bit more about who is Anfisa. Tell us. Let us know what magic you're creating here.

Anfisa [00:01:48]:
Well, at the moment, I am sharing the extension of what I do and what I live by with people around me, starting with friends and family, and then extending into what I call my work. Mhmm. So my work is rooted very much in in me, in how my everyday flows. And that is how my home is, how I eat, how I treat my body, how I live by a very healthy way to approach all of these topics. And also, The way I have built a relationship in my life

Hélène Ioannides [00:02:41]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:02:41]:
With my partner, that is not the traditional way people build relationships with, so we can I can tell you more about that in a minute?

Hélène Ioannides [00:02:48]:
That sounds interesting.

Anfisa [00:02:50]:
That's a bullet point. And Every day for me is a challenge that I approach from a place of, okay, what do I have to learn here? Where is this day taking me? And I'm saying a challenge not in the way that I have to battle through this Mhmm. But in a way that, Hey. This is interesting. This is the next step on this journey, and this is there's a next lesson in this. Mhmm. And so by approaching life in that way, I, I call it self mastery. Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:03:25]:
This is my theme. This is what I live by. This is my hobby. This is Also my work. Mhmm. And from the things that I mentioned, I bring in this aspect into my daily life.

Hélène Ioannides [00:03:36]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:03:37]:
And basically live and learn every day.

Hélène Ioannides [00:03:41]:
Could you give us some examples? Yes. Please.

Anfisa [00:03:44]:
Yes. So one thing that pops into my mind right now is building a healthier relationship with food.

Hélène Ioannides [00:03:52]:
Mhmm. Yes. Very important. So

Anfisa [00:03:57]:
I have so many ideas and I have to what to say about this, but let's just start with where I was and where I got. Mhmm. So, 3 years ago and a lot of the time before that, I was in a place of my life where food was a comfort Mechanism for me. And that turned into a lot of overeating and feeling quite crappy the next day.

Hélène Ioannides [00:04:20]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:04:21]:
And it was more like, okay. There's something I gotta show up to. There's an event I gotta I gotta attend or there's a big group of people that I'm coming to see for a birthday party and all of my system goes, oh my god. I'm gonna have to be there.

Hélène Ioannides [00:04:36]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:04:37]:
And a lot of, like, anxiety and fear comes up, And I'm like, okay. Let's let's just open the fridge. Okay. What do we have?

Hélène Ioannides [00:04:43]:
Uh-huh.

Anfisa [00:04:44]:
And then it's just until the tank is full, and then A kind of calmness comes over, a fullness.

Hélène Ioannides [00:04:51]:
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. The fullness.

Anfisa [00:04:53]:
And then I would be able to be in in in in the crowd a little bit easier.

Hélène Ioannides [00:04:58]:
Okay. So right before the event. Yes. Okay. Yes. Not just the thought of it, but right before you go to the event Yes. You are almost, like, filling your body with, so much fuel that it's really, really grounding you.

Anfisa [00:05:13]:
Yes.

Hélène Ioannides [00:05:14]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:05:15]:
Yeah. So that was my way to use food, but also to process, like, heavy heavy emotions. Like, you have a tough day. You're like, what is Like, I'm so tired of existing here. Yeah. I mean, like, let's just let's just munch on things. And it does go away. It does bring comfort.

Anfisa [00:05:31]:
Yeah. But I saw that that really, really messed my stomach. It gave me a little bit of those extra kilos that then would really hit my confidence and the way I viewed myself and adds to my negative self talk and my criticism. It would just not help.

Hélène Ioannides [00:05:46]:
Yeah.

Anfisa [00:05:47]:
So, building that healthier relationship with food was more like, okay, what what do you feel you need? But And following that, but also learning more about what is a healthier diet. Mhmm. What if I have a craving for sugar, what does it actually mean? What is my body telling me? Yeah. So we come to a point where I mentioned the language of the body.

Hélène Ioannides [00:06:13]:
Yes. Right?

Anfisa [00:06:14]:
So Learning about my overeating habits and my, ways that I did treat myself well brought me onto a self mastery path of Understanding and learning more about the language the physical body speaks Mhmm. To us. Yes. Again, Through my own skill, through my very own experience Yeah. Of feeling that. So that is a big Topic of self mastery. But that in in self mastery, there is also the language of emotions Mhmm. Language of the mind Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:06:47]:
The heart. So this is what I bring into my programs, and I love to help people step up In their relationship with themselves through self mastery.

Hélène Ioannides [00:06:59]:
Okay. And this is obviously something that you apply in your life and through your own experiences, you've also been able to, understand yourself on a very deep but also simple level that you are in a position to be able to simplify for people that are feeling disconnected from themselves and their bodies and their emotions.

Anfisa [00:07:29]:
Yes. It's important to speak in the language that people can understand. Mhmm. And I feel that I'm only able to do this. I will speak only about my experience here. So I am only able to do this when I have been there, done that, felt that. And I'm like, Girl or guy, I see you. But moreover, I feel you.

Anfisa [00:07:52]:
Yeah. And this is where like, I'm getting goosebumps right now as I'm saying this. This is where a lot of this Deep and also really simple work, like you say, happen.

Hélène Ioannides [00:08:04]:
Yeah. Do you find that people have a hard time connecting to themselves.

Anfisa [00:08:13]:
Yes. It's a hell of a job. I mean, You've got your physical body that's okay. In a woman, it goes through cycles. Right? It functions differently in the morning, in the evening, if the moon is full, If the tides are high or low. Right? If Yeah. Planets are moving, if we've got a heat wave or not, Yeah. Depending on the weather outside.

Anfisa [00:08:35]:
I mean and not only women, men as well. And then you've got all the emotional plane that you've got your mental, That you've got thoughts and lots of input from all the media and all the information we've got and all of this. Mhmm. Try connecting yourself when all of these things are just in different directions. It's a mission.

Hélène Ioannides [00:08:57]:
Yeah. You get lost in it.

Anfisa [00:08:58]:
You can. Yeah. Easy. Yes. Yeah. I definitely may well as fast at some points. Yeah. I still am some days.

Hélène Ioannides [00:09:05]:
I was just gonna say that I feel like even even that statement for me personally, there are days that you just feel like, yes. We can do this. Like, you know, mind's on point. I'm speaking to myself in an amazing way. I've, you know, eaten the right way. You know, I'm taking the steps that I have to be taking in in my business, in my personal life, and then there are days you're just like, oh. Today, I just feel as we mentioned before, I feel like I'm hungover, but I haven't been drinking, and I haven't been overeating. It's just one of those days where, you know, you are not working or functioning in your ultimate best, but those those days are also also okay.

Hélène Ioannides [00:09:45]:
And they're beautiful as well in their in their own right. Thank you so much for watching this episode. If you'd like to dive deeper into your own personal development and tap into your most authentic self, you can book a 1 on 1 session with me. You'll be able to find the details in the description here below. I look forward to chatting with you.

Anfisa [00:10:05]:
What is important to say here is that let's say you step onto the journey of self mastery. You're in it. You're Eating better, like you say. You know, you're rocking your business, showing up everywhere, being there with your kids, you know, with your partner, everything, looking after everything. And then those days of Complete down still come. Mhmm. So sometimes there's this question, like, so why do it? I mean, you're still gonna have those low days.

Hélène Ioannides [00:10:30]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:10:31]:
And something that I learned from one of my teachers was when I came up to her and I'm like, does this ever end? Does this ever end? And she looks at me and she goes, what changes is that you don't stay in the low for as long as you did before. Mhmm. So something in emotional cycle that took 3 weeks to complete. Mhmm. 3 months for some. It's just like for me now, it takes 15 minutes. Mhmm. Okay.

Anfisa [00:11:09]:
Day to day. Yes. Okay. We're still being flexible here. But just that I can really tap into the emotion that's coming up, go deep into it Mhmm. And be back out in a shorter time frame.

Hélène Ioannides [00:11:22]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:11:23]:
So this is what changes.

Hélène Ioannides [00:11:25]:
Do you ever find yourself also loving the downs, though? The process of it. Like, there's a certain I feel like when I when I go into to those days that there are moments that because I have a a a big sense of trusting that I'm gonna come out of it. There's also a space for kind of surrendering to it is what I would say.

Anfisa [00:11:49]:
Yes. And I also found, again, through my own experience, that there is a part of us that also loves being down, loves being sad. And a lot of my work is, like, bringing together the different science that we have in ourself. Because it's not just, you know, Helene who's here, hosting the podcast or Anfisa who's here sharing this conversation with you. You know? I'm also Lots of other selves. My joyful, silly, happy self. I'm the self that goes in the morning. I really don't wanna face this day.

Anfisa [00:12:30]:
Yeah. And there's there's so much. There's there's me who's gonna come on stage and speak to people, and there's me that's gonna Cry in front of my woman in the circle. Like, there's so many different selves. And my my basically, the self mastery is bringing Everybody into one place Mhmm. Onto 1 like I say, onto 1 boat so we can sail to the destination that we wanna go to. Yeah. Because if we've got a fight going on in the boat and somebody's chucking the other over and we gotta stop and rescue people, I mean, it's gonna take forever to get to your destination of your goal, or way the way you see your life.

Hélène Ioannides [00:13:09]:
Yeah.

Anfisa [00:13:09]:
So this is the metaphor I like to use with my clients. It gets everybody laughing. I Love it.

Hélène Ioannides [00:13:15]:
It is a beautiful metaphor. Have you found that there were any first of all, how did you get into this work? Mhmm. Have you always been doing it? No. Okay. No. Were you in another field before? Yes. Okay.

Anfisa [00:13:30]:
Yes. So I left school 2 years early because I was completely convinced that I know what it is that I'm gonna do with my life.

Hélène Ioannides [00:13:41]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:13:43]:
And I knew that I wanna be in the equestrian industry professionally. So equestrian is working with horses.

Hélène Ioannides [00:13:50]:
Yes. Yes.

Anfisa [00:13:52]:
In the show jumping field

Hélène Ioannides [00:13:54]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:13:55]:
And just going full into that. Mhmm. I was already doing that at the time, so I left school and I went full time into being at the stables and investing 12 to 14 of my hours of my day into learning, working, learning, working. And that went on for about 8 years. Okay. And there was this moment. I think this is what you're asking about. Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:14:26]:
Of one of my days that I'm in the arena teaching one of my lessons To one of the kids that, was were coming to to work with me, and they're riding this really lazy pony. And I'm there and I'm there telling them, go on. Go on. Go on. Get him going. Get him going. Encouraging them. Really really in it with her.

Anfisa [00:14:51]:
Her name was Mary. And I'm like, what am I doing? What am I doing? What am I really doing here? Yes. I'm here with the kids making their day better. They're really looking forward to come and spend this time with the horses, with me, and learn. Yes. But what are you really doing here right now? And standing in the sandy arena with sun on my face, which I did I lived outdoors. Right? This is one thing I knew. I didn't wanna be in the office, so I went for the outdoors.

Anfisa [00:15:26]:
Nature. Yeah. Yes. And that was basically my definition. Going back to it, I was like, I think I can do so much more with my life than tell kids to go in circles and do diagonals and tell them how to get the pony going. And this was one of my simplest lessons, but still, That was a lot of my day. And I set off to travel. Okay.

Anfisa [00:15:56]:
But that was a very big decision to make because I was waiting for my superior nationality then Okay. In order to, go and get my dream job in Germany with the Japanese Olympic rider, do the thing that I left school for and was praying every day to happen. And I'm there sat on my bed looking at my passport, at my phone, being like, okay. I really need to make that phone call. The contract is signed already. Mhmm. I need to make that phone call. The person's been waiting for me 3 years.

Anfisa [00:16:30]:
And I'm looking at this, and there's this moment after the moment, and I'm like, I don't wanna go. I don't wanna be stuck in a place for another 8, like, 9 to 5 job for 6 days a week and just, you know, do this The sting. Sounds like that was a big moment for you. Yes. It was really scary, but I did the decision of following my feeling, and I went to travel. Don't get me wrong. I really loved working with horses. Being outside, being with the kids, and having this connection, it taught me a lot.

Anfisa [00:17:06]:
Before our talk, you asked me about intuition. Yes. And this is where a lot of it got developed and a lot of it put to practice because you're working with a 600 kilo animal Mhmm. That you gotta feel. There's a way that they communicate with you. Mhmm. And that's not where it's Mhmm. Yeah.

Anfisa [00:17:26]:
It's yeah. It's the body language, but you also gotta feel them. Mhmm. Because one little tension.

Hélène Ioannides [00:17:31]:
They pick

Anfisa [00:17:32]:
up on that, don't they? Yes. But if you pick up on this, you can really build A good relationship, but moreover meet their needs. Okay. Yes. And when somebody meets your needs, you can really calm down and enjoy your life. Yeah. And that's basically what was my mission every day with different characters, which were different horses. Yeah.

Anfisa [00:17:55]:
And everybody had their own little glitch and Their own preferences. And Mhmm. Yeah. I can describe them as people to you Yeah. Through this. Yeah.

Hélène Ioannides [00:18:06]:
What I hear you saying in that is you were so clear in your passion when you left school. And then at some point in your life you realize that your passion is no longer your passion Mhmm. And that there's something else trying to be born there, which a lot of the times I with I think we have this preconceived notion that what we choose is what we have to stick with.

Anfisa [00:18:33]:
Mhmm. Yeah. So much. I mean, school put so much pressure on you for that.

Hélène Ioannides [00:18:37]:
Yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, I I've personally been through that, so I I completely resonate with your story. I wanna know though, where did you travel to?

Anfisa [00:18:51]:
So I went a little extreme

Hélène Ioannides [00:18:53]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:18:53]:
As I usually tend to do. Uh-huh. So I packed.

Hélène Ioannides [00:18:57]:
You don't look like an extreme person.

Anfisa [00:18:59]:
I know. But like I told you, they're different sides. Yeah. Okay. So I booked my trip around Asia for 4 months from start to finish, from the 1st flight to the last flight. And I had fifteen Flights. But 50 flights. Yes.

Anfisa [00:19:16]:
My god. And I packed my handpan, the The instrument that I play, packed my surfboard, chucked all of my clothes in my handpan, which at that time was not a great idea because I was Like a turtle taking basically all of my house on my shoulders before I close.

Hélène Ioannides [00:19:35]:
That. I wanna see you.

Anfisa [00:19:36]:
Yes. I do.

Hélène Ioannides [00:19:36]:
I will show you.

Anfisa [00:19:38]:
I got a huge smile on my face with my bleached hair from the sun, and I'm just like, this is the best thing that happened to me. And I set off my 1st destination was India. Okay. And this is where a lot of what you asked me about happened. So the background before I went there was that for 2 years, while the whole situation with, you know, changing jobs and was not even in my field. I was going through a really tough time in my life with family and, lots of problems there. And it was really, like, knocking me down. And a friend of mine told me about cacao ceremonies.

Hélène Ioannides [00:20:20]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:20:20]:
My first impression is like, Sounds dodgy. Like, don't tell me that you sit in the circle. People talk about their problems. Some people cry, but then they feel better and they leave. And you drink something, like, what on earth is going on there? It took me 4 months to ripen up. And then I was like, you know, let's go check this thing out. Mhmm. And I went.

Anfisa [00:20:45]:
And that's where my 2 year Dedication to this process started because of my first time. No. That was still in Cyprus before I left. Oh. Because Okay. I wanna tell you how how I took cacao to India, but I need to tell you where that came from.

Hélène Ioannides [00:21:02]:
Okay. So you were already testing the grounds with doing, having ceremonies, going to other people's ceremonies, and, experiencing the cacao. Okay. Yes. Okay.

Anfisa [00:21:12]:
That's a big point because a lot of things were happening in parallel in my life, and there was a lot. So at that time, this was also unfolding. And I remember going to my first one. I think you even asked me, like, you tried cacao for the first time. How was it? Like, what did you like it? I mean, because it's it's different from the chocolate that we know. And there's me receiving my cup. I drink it, and I'm like, oh, wow. Okay.

Hélène Ioannides [00:21:35]:
Potent, isn't it? That's strong.

Anfisa [00:21:37]:
That's bitter. That's not the chocolate I know. Cheers. Cheers. And a spoon of honey, asking the others how they get on with it. Like, yeah. Just just put your honey in it. I'm like, okay.

Anfisa [00:21:50]:
Okay. I listen to you. Mhmm. And then I walk into the room and we have an internal journey. And, Mhmm. And at some point, I open my eyes, and I see people doing energy work with each other. And I and this huge, Again, uh-huh moment went through me, and I'm like, wow. Yeah.

Anfisa [00:22:08]:
The witches and wizards of this world still live. That was my shocked by it or amazed by it? Amazed. Amazed. Yes. That was, like, my really my inner child that loves magic. I was like, wow. It's here. And that's what really inspired me to be there.

Anfisa [00:22:26]:
But also that I felt that I could really tap into myself Mhmm. Which I wouldn't put in words then, but it really helped me to deal with all of the Shitshow. I don't know if we swear at this. Yeah. You do. Go ahead. That was going on with my life. And My ways of dealing with it was were not healthy, and this was a very much healthier way to do this.

Anfisa [00:22:51]:
I mean, how about drinking chocolate and feeling better? Sounds good to me. Yeah. So there I was go doing this for 2 years.

Hélène Ioannides [00:23:01]:
May I

Anfisa [00:23:02]:
ask you Yes.

Hélène Ioannides [00:23:02]:
What were you going through at the time?

Anfisa [00:23:05]:
I was going through a, I wouldn't say it was the biggest fear of my life because My biggest fear of my life was losing my dad, but I actually lost him from my physical reality with him being deported For 2 years, I mean, have not being able to have contact with him. And that really shook my ground because I have this really deep and beautiful relationship with my dad, And he is somebody that really, really impacted me. And the person that you see today, a lot of it is him and his unconditional love and support. So when that happened, it really got all of my shadow out. Mhmm. I felt really insecure, really scared, really question everything. Like, what is this world? Mhmm. Lots of anger and, you know, all of this dark stuff tends to to to come up to for for us when yeah.

Anfisa [00:24:05]:
And That really helped me because that brought me internal support. So this is what Kakao does.

Hélène Ioannides [00:24:11]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:24:11]:
She brings an internal support for your body, for your mind and for your inner feeling. Yes? Mhmm. So the body is literally The magnesium and the deliciousness of chocolate, when you want honey to it. At least that was my experience. And then for for the mind, it's actually neurochemicals that, we see in brain chemistry when we are in states of happiness, bliss, and love. So this is the PEA, and, something similar to, dopamine and serotonin. Mhmm. The name just passed my memory right now.

Anfisa [00:24:56]:
And This all basically supports you on your physical body level.

Hélène Ioannides [00:25:00]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:25:01]:
But also she is known as the heart medicine. Yes. For the 5000 year history she has

Hélène Ioannides [00:25:07]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:25:07]:
With the with the ancient, populations of Maya, the Aztec, the Toltec, People and then what is the name? Civilizations. Civilizations. And so that's a little bit about that. And I really felt her support, and I took her with me when I started to travel. Okay?

Hélène Ioannides [00:25:30]:
How much did you take with you?

Anfisa [00:25:32]:
Half a block, which is like 200 grams. I'm like, I'll have a For

Hélène Ioannides [00:25:36]:
4 months.

Anfisa [00:25:36]:
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what I was thinking. And on my 1st week in India, the the the community that I was staying within the jungle, they're like, oh, we heard you've got ceremonial cacao. I said, Yeah. Yeah. This is my cup. And I I like to have it once a week or something.

Anfisa [00:25:55]:
I'll be they'll find me there in the kitchen cooking it. And they're like, we would love to try a cacao ceremony because we've never we've never experienced one. Like, we've tried all of the other stuff, but, Yeah. How

Hélène Ioannides [00:26:08]:
old were you at the time? I'm just, like, trying to paint a picture in my mind of, like, how old Anfisa was there at the time, and what was she doing.

Anfisa [00:26:17]:
Mhmm. I think I was 23. Yes.

Hélène Ioannides [00:26:20]:
Okay. So you're in your early twenties? Yes.

Anfisa [00:26:22]:
Okay. Yes. Yes. And, basically, I'm faced with a question. Mhmm. I'm like, yeah. Sure. Why not?

Hélène Ioannides [00:26:33]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:26:34]:
I didn't think about the fact that I won't have cacao for my next 4 months or whatever. I'm like, I'll figure it out. Doesn't matter. Mhmm. Let's share this

Hélène Ioannides [00:26:43]:
Which is what it's for. Right? It's like the concept is for sharing as well. Exactly. Yeah.

Anfisa [00:26:48]:
So I said, okay. When do you wanna do this? Let's set a time and date and let's gather. So it's like a holy banyan tree That people could come to pray in the jungle. Huge. Yes. Like, the trunk of it is Mhmm. All of this room. So we said it.

Anfisa [00:27:04]:
There were 10 people that showed up. I prayed cacao to everybody, and I just did it.

Hélène Ioannides [00:27:11]:
So naturally, I'm sure as

Anfisa [00:27:13]:
well. Yes. But then, I mean, you know, a lot of people say, oh, when it was there and everything was right and it just flowed and I knew it was the

Hélène Ioannides [00:27:21]:
Mhmm. Yes. Okay. And and

Anfisa [00:27:25]:
I was in ceremony for 2 years, 2 times a week, sometimes three. Right? Listening to how the process is guided, listening to other people's experiences, listening to things going completely wrong, You know? So I was exposed to this Wow. Space for a really long time. Yeah. Every ceremony is about 5 hours. So, I I mean, that's a lot of hours.

Hélène Ioannides [00:27:49]:
You were holding these ceremonies? You were attending

Anfisa [00:27:51]:
you were attending any ceremonies? Them and doing my own work. Yeah. My own internal work. Yeah. So yeah. And then everybody really loved it, and they told me they really encouraged me to To do something with people gathering in circles. So that really got me thinking because that was the 2nd week 1st week, sorry, of my trip. And I'm like, okay.

Hélène Ioannides [00:28:14]:
Isn't it amazing how the universe shows us signs, God, creation, like, right from the beginning? Yes. But, you know, we kind of puzzle the pieces together later on in life. When you look back as you're saying the story, you're you're now able to say, I already got a hint of what I was gonna be doing.

Anfisa [00:28:34]:
Yes. And when I got overexcited, I got a slap. Uh-huh. I mean, a lot of people talk again about all the beautiful side of being in the flow and following your life path, but your life path is also the slaps and the difficulties and the challenges. Yes. And going through them is what, gives you mastery and knowledge of yourself. Mhmm. And my slap was that I really twisted my leg.

Anfisa [00:29:03]:
Oh, a few days after that, I couldn't walk to save my life. India, with a stick in the jungle. You know what's worse? I don't know if any of the listeners traveled with. Know the toilets they have in India?

Hélène Ioannides [00:29:22]:
I do not know the toilets

Anfisa [00:29:23]:
they have in India. I guess So they're the ones that you gotta squat and it's a hole.

Hélène Ioannides [00:29:28]:
So there's just a hole in the ground? Yes.

Anfisa [00:29:30]:
Yes. Which is fine.

Hélène Ioannides [00:29:31]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:29:32]:
Like but when you don't have a leg, this is a challenge. So How

Hélène Ioannides [00:29:40]:
are you managing Anvisa?

Anfisa [00:29:41]:
Oh, if I have to tell you that I had to Pee in a bucket and and not go downstairs

Hélène Ioannides [00:29:48]:
Yeah.

Anfisa [00:29:48]:
Because I literally had to crawl, but even that wasn't possible because any tiny movement of my leg was just extreme pain.

Hélène Ioannides [00:29:55]:
Do you?

Anfisa [00:29:56]:
So yeah. Then you're like, woo, I find my life pad. I might know what I'm doing. And then you're peeing in a bucket with No leg in the jungle going like, what the hell is this? Yeah. Completely alone on the other side of world. And, hey ho, you've got another 4 months to go.

Hélène Ioannides [00:30:13]:
Did you break it or was

Anfisa [00:30:14]:
it just twisted? I didn't I didn't go to check.

Hélène Ioannides [00:30:18]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:30:19]:
I hoped it was twisted. I'm like, it's twisted. We're just gonna rest, and we're gonna go through it. Yeah. So that was kind of my initiation

Hélène Ioannides [00:30:27]:
in college. Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:30:29]:
And, my journey unfolded from there. Learning how to hold myself in all of my tears and pain, Take myself from country to country on one leg. Attend to all my needs. Discover that there's no good physiotherapy in Asia. You gotta do it yourself. How do we do this? Okay. Let's research. Let's learn.

Anfisa [00:30:51]:
Let's test.

Hélène Ioannides [00:30:53]:
You were figuring it out all yourself. Yes. On many different planes. Yes. Physical, emotional, mental. Yes. Well, it sounds like it was,

Anfisa [00:31:04]:
a very interesting 4 months. God. And the stories I have to tell I

Hélène Ioannides [00:31:10]:
was going to ask you, you if you could share one of your most memorable stories.

Anfisa [00:31:17]:
My most memorable moment was, sitting in the jungle with one of my friends that actually came to the ceremony, and we were talking. And she's like, hey. You gotta come and do this where I am. I only did it once until then. I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, come to Germany. Come host these. I know lots of places that would love to have you. I said, okay.

Anfisa [00:31:43]:
When? Let's do February. Alright. I remember agreeing to this in the jungle cafe there with her. And that was kind of my My goal, I was like, okay, I'm gonna have to go do this. And over the course of the 4 months, I was like, okay, let's do a course. Let's get educated about this a little bit. And

Hélène Ioannides [00:32:06]:
So you did a course in in Asia?

Anfisa [00:32:09]:
As I was traveling.

Hélène Ioannides [00:32:10]:
As you were traveling.

Anfisa [00:32:10]:
Yes. I I did it online and, went to cacao ceremonies wherever I was to just see and try. And then on my last let's go around back to Sri Lanka. So I spent a lot of time in Bali after that, went to Singapore, and I was in Sri Lanka sitting on the floor with all the stamps in my passport going like, woah. You got here. Mhmm. And now you can finally surf because your leg is back. And you've been carrying the surfboard for nothing All this time, which was also frustrating at the time.

Anfisa [00:32:45]:
But, yeah. And I just emailed all these places, and I booked myself in To a place I've never been, with people I've never met. Something that I never did outside of my country, let's say. Mhmm. So that was a very big moment.

Hélène Ioannides [00:33:03]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:33:04]:
There was a topic you wanted to touch upon on

Hélène Ioannides [00:33:06]:
my end. You mentioned getting over, your toxic ways around sensuality. It's a huge topic for us women.

Anfisa [00:33:15]:
Yes. My god.

Hélène Ioannides [00:33:18]:
So was there a moment or a time that you felt shame in your sensuality? God,

Anfisa [00:33:23]:
yes. Yes. Yes. Throughout most of the years of my life. Mhmm. And what

Hélène Ioannides [00:33:29]:
did you feel shame about?

Anfisa [00:33:32]:
Letting myself be treated in ways I wasn't proud of. The more animalistic nature of humans.

Hélène Ioannides [00:33:41]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:33:41]:
Yeah. Because I I started to be drawn to the spiritual path, and I'm like, oh, what is that? Mhmm. That The other the the human need for that as well, so I could never go beyond that. I was never meant to, But that it would always be a part of my desires and wants and

Hélène Ioannides [00:34:02]:
how I perceive life. Going beyond your your, physical desires. Explain that.

Anfisa [00:34:06]:
Like, I mean, sometimes in spirituality, they talk that about, like, overcoming your Desires of sex and what you want in this life and transcending that and going to a higher plane of being and

Hélène Ioannides [00:34:19]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:34:20]:
Which is great. I think there are ancient religions that really support this and have a lot of knowledge about this. And For sure, there are pros and cons like everything else in our world. Mhmm. And for me, it was always this middle path, so I could never go to 1 or the other extreme, so I had to find Mhmm. A place to mediate the 2. Yes. There's sacred ways of being, but there's sacred, there's sacredness in sex and sensuality and, like, merging the 2 together.

Anfisa [00:34:55]:
And, what to mention about this? Yeah. You I had my own journey with it.

Hélène Ioannides [00:35:02]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:35:03]:
I had my own journey.

Hélène Ioannides [00:35:04]:
I know there are many women Yes. Who have, a lot of shame around their own bodies and how they look, how they've been treated, and having immense sexual desires, but we have been taught and shown from previous generations and especially being raised in a in a culture that's more narrow minded, not as open minded as, as other countries overseas. And I'm sure that they would love to hear your perspective of this, you know, having you having been through feeling this shame and experiencing it, and how you came out of it or started to accept it more so.

Anfisa [00:35:58]:
Yeah. This is where the part of, not doing everything alone comes in. Mhmm. So healing shame and coming to terms with myself really came through My partner. Okay. And being in a healthy space Mhmm. Where I was taught and encouraged to love my body because there was somebody else seeing it as beautiful and teaching me to see it that way and abandon my own lens of, you know, focusing on my thighs Mhmm. Or focusing just on 1 boob going lower than the other.

Anfisa [00:36:35]:
It's like, yeah. Zoom out, love. Look at you. Mhmm. Right? He was really teaching me how to see myself. And even on those bloated days and even on days where I felt terrible. And So that was a huge part. And, also, like, how do we get there? Like, how do you find the person that will be able to hold the space for you or teach you that or even be in a space to support you through that.

Anfisa [00:37:01]:
It's being able to spot the healthy signs of human relations. Mhmm. Being being able to spot what fulfills me, what gives me energy here, what feels good. And this is where we again tap into, like, the self awareness, which really connects to the theme of self mastery, where learning the languages of your body, mind, and emotion, you will be able to understand yourself more and therefore be able to choose more wisely and see, hey. That's good for me. And this person, I have a really strong pull towards, but it usually gets my stomach to sink. Mhmm. And after that, for 2 hours, I'm a bit jittery and a bit insecure.

Anfisa [00:37:48]:
Okay. And with the other, well, I feel really at home.

Hélène Ioannides [00:37:52]:
I feel like

Anfisa [00:37:53]:
I yes. I can open up. I don't sweat as much. You know? It's just like simple things. It's like, okay. So what actually serves here? Mhmm. Like, are you able to see it first and then to choose The better version for itself.

Hélène Ioannides [00:38:09]:
Yes.

Anfisa [00:38:10]:
And that was the work of the months of traveling and also The time of the cacao ceremonies that I was attending before is learning my own languages and then being able to choose the better for myself.

Hélène Ioannides [00:38:24]:
Mhmm. Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:38:26]:
And in that container, I could say, the shame of the body, the of sensuality started to transcend Because there was somebody else in the boat with me that had a really, first of all, healthy relationship with it. Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:38:40]:
With himself first.

Anfisa [00:38:42]:
Mhmm. Yes. Okay. We all have a little flaws, but at least in that sphere.

Hélène Ioannides [00:38:46]:
Yep.

Anfisa [00:38:48]:
It was a really healthy relationship with it, but also, seeing me as somebody he would like to support and not own like we usually tend

Hélène Ioannides [00:38:59]:
to. Yeah.

Anfisa [00:39:01]:
And give me a safe space to explore this, Which I think is huge for humanity. Yes. Huge. So and this is where it connects to, I wanted to share about the retreats I hosted in the last 2 years before I got into my journey of being pregnant and bringing my child into the world. So for 2 years, we hosted

Hélène Ioannides [00:39:25]:
Where? In Cyprus?

Anfisa [00:39:26]:
Yes. In Cyprus. We hosted conscious intimacy retreats with my, good friend and Working partner, Manuel Paradiso. And we created a safe container where people can, really explore their Sensual nature and intimacy without the the sexual interaction. So that also added to the safe container, where we can really tap into our vulnerability. Mhmm. Because underneath all of this topic of sensuality and sex is really the We that really vulnerable part of us that we just cannot hide. This is just us when we come out.

Anfisa [00:40:07]:
And we did 2 day retreats where, we created this container, and we had a blast. I mean, I think everybody really enjoyed this and said how, Yeah. There is no space in this world where you can come in and explore this with others in a space that is unjudged. Mhmm. Okay. Safe in a way that you know you're not agreeing to something more than just Your own comfort zone. Your own comfort zone. Yeah.

Anfisa [00:40:37]:
And, yeah, learning more about yourself, but also having a lot of fun.

Hélène Ioannides [00:40:43]:
That sounds like something I've missed.

Anfisa [00:40:47]:
It's good stuff.

Hélène Ioannides [00:40:48]:
Yes. Yeah. That's fascinating stuff. And I'm so happy that we have this kind of stuff on the island. You know, it's it's it's so needed. Mhmm. Do you find that you work mainly with foreigners, or do you have a mix

Anfisa [00:41:04]:
of different people? People of the world. People of the world. Is my crowd.

Hélène Ioannides [00:41:08]:
Okay. Nice. Yeah. And within those retreats, like, did you have specific exercise that you did that you can share with us? Like, take me through it. You know? I'm trying to envision

Anfisa [00:41:23]:
Mhmm. Mhmm. Well, it is a journey from start to finish. So bringing forth just 1 little piece is not gonna give the whole vision of the puzzle because we have a step by step journey where you enter, you get more comfortable, and you come out of it. So, one thing that popped in for me now is we were really exploring the topic of desires and fantasies.

Hélène Ioannides [00:41:52]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:41:53]:
So We had assigned time where everybody would connect to that.

Hélène Ioannides [00:41:58]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:41:58]:
And this is not something that we usually put time aside.

Hélène Ioannides [00:42:02]:
No. To to think about or explore or mhmm.

Anfisa [00:42:07]:
Exactly. So knowing more of that is also knowing yourself more and knowing what you want to bring into your life potentially. So that was one of the the big parts. And also, yeah, sharing them.

Hélène Ioannides [00:42:19]:
Sharing them and releasing the shame around them as well and having the the the, confidence to and comfort to allow another person into what those desires are. Like, you were doing it in a public, you know, a a safe container, but it's not just you and your thoughts.

Anfisa [00:42:38]:
Absolutely. But it's funny because when everybody starts to share, like, oh, mine is very similar. Oh, mine's mine's the same. It's like, oh, me too. It's like, okay. Isn't that great? Yeah. So it's okay. It's normal.

Hélène Ioannides [00:42:52]:
It's amazing how interconnected we are with each other, but we spend so much time in our own minds that just by verbalizing some of our own thoughts, fears, emotions, desires, it takes such a load of us. And then other people are also in that that space to say, oh, you know what? I'm also experiencing the same. You think, yes. I don't feel as isolated. I don't feel so alone. And, yeah, this is the beauty of of the circles and the retreats and everything that you you do. Let's touch upon the concept of spirituality. Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:43:37]:
Because I find that there is so much out there that it's confusing to people. What do you define as spirituality?

Anfisa [00:43:52]:
So for me, it is the connection to the invisible. Mhmm. Because there is certain reality that our senses can pick up. And there's another reality that we have other senses Mhmm. To pick up. And in the beginning, when before we started recording, you asked me about, like, what are my beliefs? And I think My beliefs are deeply intertwined with what I believe as spirituality. Mhmm. So like I said, it is this relationship with the invisible.

Anfisa [00:44:31]:
And for me, one of the beliefs I stick to and, have really close to my heart is that I choose to see that we live in a friendly universe where life is happening for me, to learn, to enjoy, to take my soul from point a to point b, yeah, and learn something new or become something new and bring that into the world or not. And instead of seeing the universe as something bad, that everything is being distracted, and we're all gonna die in a way and yeah. Okay. But what helps you go through your day? Yeah. For me, it's Mhmm. That this is a friendly universe. And the more good I do, the more good will come back to me.

Hélène Ioannides [00:45:29]:
The more I focus on it, the more

Anfisa [00:45:32]:
And the more you focus on it, the more you see it.

Hélène Ioannides [00:45:34]:
Mhmm. Exactly.

Anfisa [00:45:37]:
So that, really.

Hélène Ioannides [00:45:41]:
Okay. Was there a moment in your life that we also hear about spiritual awakenings.

Anfisa [00:45:55]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:45:55]:
Okay? Was there a moment in your life that you experience the spiritual awakening.

Anfisa [00:46:04]:
Having spoken to people who have truly experienced it, I I don't know if this is Yeah. Yes. But based on what they shared with me, it was very intense in the body and it really lasted for days.

Hélène Ioannides [00:46:17]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:46:18]:
I didn't have a similar type of experience. But I did have moments where I felt extremely connected to this intelligence that guides this universe and that yeah. We are just we're 1 and the same thing everywhere.

Hélène Ioannides [00:46:36]:
Yeah.

Anfisa [00:46:37]:
It sounds really cliche, and whatever I say is never going to touch that note that I'm trying to bring forth. Yeah. It's unable to be put in words. But, yeah, just feeling a part of all of this Mhmm. Was

Hélène Ioannides [00:46:57]:
A

Anfisa [00:46:57]:
number of times. Yes.

Hélène Ioannides [00:46:58]:
Yeah.

Anfisa [00:46:58]:
I would call I would call them high higher states of consciousness. And

Hélène Ioannides [00:47:04]:
while you were mentioning that, what came through is working with Cacao. Cacao or the intelligence of the plants, that that's what was coming through as you were saying that. And Mhmm. I I see that you use a lot of herbs, and plants with the work that you do. Mhmm. Could you share a little bit around that, How you use these plants.

Anfisa [00:47:30]:
Mhmm. So just elaborating more in spirituality, it's Everybody has their own way of connecting to something that's beyond them. And I think for humans, it's important to have something that they can believe in

Hélène Ioannides [00:47:47]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:47:49]:
That is more than them.

Hélène Ioannides [00:47:51]:
Okay.

Anfisa [00:47:52]:
Because that's that potentially puts you in a Great relationship with life and a good balance of a healthy ego and, just a greater awareness of you living in a world that also lives side by side with you. And in order to help connect to something that is invisible, higher than you, spiritual. There are different tools. So some of the ones we know are, like, Meditations, dance, different herbs. Mhmm. Crystal. Yes. Ceremonies, crystals.

Anfisa [00:48:31]:
It depends. Mhmm. In history, we can find a lot that's lots of examples. And for me, it was cacao, potentially. And again, like I say, I always refer back to my own experience. So having lived through that, having experienced that, I bring that to the people. And For me, she because I call her a she. It's a very feminine kind of feeling.

Anfisa [00:49:00]:
And spirit, I call her. So the way I would envision Cacao, if she was a person? Yes. Yes. It would be that she is this powerful, beautiful, confident woman Mhmm. That is a mother Mhmm. Yeah. That knows how to care and nurture Yes. In ways that you may have forgotten.

Anfisa [00:49:29]:
And she helps encourage you to create that space of gentleness, of care of nurture inside. And I feel that when we are in the state, it is easier for us to tap into something that's higher than us, Something that's beyond what we feel. Because our system is no longer overstimulated by All of the anxiety, emotion, and stress

Hélène Ioannides [00:49:57]:
Yes. That

Anfisa [00:49:57]:
we tend to live in and be stuck in. And she just creates enough space for you to take a breath and see be between. Not beyond, between all of this. What else is there aside from your fears, your anxiety, your problems, and that there is something else.

Hélène Ioannides [00:50:22]:
Yeah.

Anfisa [00:50:23]:
And it's like, yeah, we have this physical world, but there is also something else.

Hélène Ioannides [00:50:27]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:50:28]:
We don't see it. But if we create the space to sit in quiet, go out to nature, or sit under the stars. If you spend the night under the stars in the forest. I bet you Mhmm. After shitting yourself with all the noises that I'm getting over that, I bet you you're gonna come to a are feeling of there is something more than me. Yeah. Yeah?

Hélène Ioannides [00:50:54]:
And these are, you know, these are such easily accessible tools that we have around us. That because we have been living in a world where there's so many screens and so many distractions, we forget the simplest things, like going out into nature. Mhmm. Spending a night under the stars.

Anfisa [00:51:17]:
Yes.

Hélène Ioannides [00:51:17]:
Bringing ourselves back to what feels like home.

Anfisa [00:51:23]:
Mhmm. Yeah. Yes. And plants help because they have their own physical qualities. Mhmm. And if you, Again, create the space in your day to ingest cacao or lavender or have a rose tea or and you really give yourself time to just do that. Mhmm. Not like, ah, yes.

Anfisa [00:51:49]:
I'm scrolling, and now I'm getting a phone call, and there's just no space again for anything to come in. Then you can greatly benefit from from the plans and their effects and what they do in the system. It can be anything. It doesn't have to be cacao and the things that I mentioned.

Hélène Ioannides [00:52:10]:
In our lives

Anfisa [00:52:12]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:52:12]:
As women

Anfisa [00:52:13]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:52:14]:
And as mothers

Anfisa [00:52:15]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:52:18]:
It takes a lot of a lot more effort to find those moments of peace and presence, I find. And especially when you have young children, like we both have, that need our attention all the time. How do you navigate these I feel like they're 2 worlds that, ideally, they'd be perfectly integrated. But Yeah. How do you navigate it?

Anfisa [00:52:45]:
Making sure I attend to everything. To everything. Everything. Okay. So, yeah, I need my time to sit With my cacao.

Hélène Ioannides [00:52:58]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:52:59]:
And I am responsible to fit it into my week. Okay. I am also I need my massage because I've been carrying the baby all day, and my back is going. Okay. Right? Finding time to spend with my partner, make love, have that connection, to have my social time with my friends so we can chat away and do my things, plan my work hours Mhmm. My time alone Yeah. My rest time, The food I'm gonna eat, my exercise. Do I need to keep going? You sound very, very

Hélène Ioannides [00:53:37]:
organized in that.

Anfisa [00:53:39]:
Have To be. Yeah. This is again where self mastery comes in. Like Mhmm. You really have to be responsible. Mhmm. And this is what I teach a lot in my program. It's consistency that happens.

Anfisa [00:53:58]:
Responsible. Yeah. Being able to respond to your reality. Learning the languages Mhmm. Of yourself, body, mind, heart, but also finding enough space in your day to fit in Mhmm. All the things that you need to have.

Hélène Ioannides [00:54:24]:
Yeah. It's almost like we have this expectation, but then if you don't make time during your day to match those expectations of what you want your life or your day to be like, then you are not able to to meet that.

Anfisa [00:54:39]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:54:40]:
So therefore, if you don't allocate pockets of time to your baby, be to yourself, to your body, and you feel depleted at the end of the day, then it's probably because you haven't made space for the things that are important to you.

Anfisa [00:54:58]:
Yes. There's a certain amount of self betrayal Mhmm. Which is Something we all have to some extent. But I would rephrase that and not put them as expectations, but as Rituals for yourself or goals. Mhmm. Then You know that from Monday to Monday, you have all of these 6 different topics you gotta attend to. Mhmm. And fit them into your calendar where you have space and Make sure you stick to it because consistency is what's gonna give you what you want and this fulfillment at the end of the day.

Anfisa [00:55:36]:
And stay disciplined because if you gotta be there at 9, better be there at 9. Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:55:43]:
And do you find that baby comes into the schedule at all?

Anfisa [00:55:49]:
Of course. Yes. He's everywhere. Planned. No. He's part of it. He is the whole thing. Yes.

Anfisa [00:55:57]:
So

Hélène Ioannides [00:55:58]:
do you take him everywhere with you?

Anfisa [00:56:00]:
A lot of the places. I was gonna bring him today. Okay. But, yes. I take him to a lot of my of my places. But I also learned how he sleeps So now he functions and what where he is able to show up in different places and How long his naps are so I can potentially fit in my alone time for 30 minutes and just make sure I've got no distractions because my timer in 30 minutes is gonna go and Mhmm. That's that's my chance gone. So no procrastination.

Anfisa [00:56:33]:
Just I don't have a chance to betray myself. Mhmm. Because if I do, I already pay for that. Mhmm. Yeah.

Hélène Ioannides [00:56:41]:
That's an interesting way to to see you do it. As well. How do I do it? Yes.

Anfisa [00:56:47]:
Yeah. I've got 2.

Hélène Ioannides [00:56:48]:
I've got 2. I find that I try and also do everything, but I've learned to make myself a priority.

Anfisa [00:56:58]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:56:58]:
And at first, I used to find that I was being selfish. But with time, I realized if I'm not selfish and I don't show them how to make themselves a priority Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:57:12]:
With all

Hélène Ioannides [00:57:13]:
the things that I I have, you know, as my goals, as my dreams, as my visions, then I'm I'm showing them a lack of self love, and lack of self discipline. Mhmm. And without those those key values, then you kinda get lost in other people's stories or in other with visions and yeah. So I I prioritize my time. I feel like there's a lot of, time management.

Anfisa [00:57:38]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:57:39]:
But there's also a lot of allocated time for them. So when we finish this podcast, I know that half of my day, My daughter's got a play date. I'm taking the both of the kids from summer school, and we'll be having a play date here. So I know work in the morning, afternoon, kids. Yeah.

Anfisa [00:57:56]:
So you also fit it into an hourly schedule, and that's the way you go.

Hélène Ioannides [00:58:01]:
Yeah. But it doesn't always work out.

Anfisa [00:58:03]:
Oh, yeah. I'll tell you about it.

Hélène Ioannides [00:58:04]:
But at least I'm trying. Yes. It's like the process of, yeah, just trying it out and figuring out what works Absolutely. For each person. And for your schedule during the day as well, some Moms work from 9 to 5.

Anfisa [00:58:19]:
Oh, absolutely.

Hélène Ioannides [00:58:20]:
So We have the flexibility.

Anfisa [00:58:23]:
Yes. And Yes. Yeah. Yes. This is where it's important to ask for help and learn to accept it because that was a big theme for me too. But going back to what you said about being selfish, it's like everything. There's there's 2 parts to it. There's a good selfish and there is a bad selfish.

Anfisa [00:58:42]:
Selfish, let's say. And in our society, we usually call somebody selfish when they're not taking into consideration anybody else, And they're just living in their own bubble completely isolated from anything and everything and just, Yeah. Do you do you get an image?

Hélène Ioannides [00:59:04]:
Yes. Yes. Of course. Yeah.

Anfisa [00:59:05]:
So it's a person in the bubble going like, yeah. Just do my own thing here. Don't care about anybody else. But there is a good selfish that's like, hey. In order for me to be a part of this world, I gotta take care of this. Mhmm. Yeah. Because if I don't, I will most probably will lash out on the next person that tells me you took my parking.

Anfisa [00:59:27]:
Yes. Yeah. Right? Or I won't have patience with my kids when they come home because I didn't have time to eat, to rest. I didn't my my back is still hurting from yesterday. I'm gonna have to rock you to sleep and yeah. I mean, last time I saw my friends, I forgot even when that was. And then there's no I call it ground or Mhmm. Support Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:59:53]:
For you to stand on in order to deal and face your life.

Hélène Ioannides [00:59:57]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [00:59:59]:
So it is our responsibility to build that ground for yourself. Yeah. Show up to it Through discipline and consistency in order to constantly have something to stand on, to face all of these changes on the program, Difficulties. We spoke about the low days. Mhmm. And again, this is a big passion of mine. This is something I also, teach and support people with on my on my mentorship program. And it's incredible to see how much this changes Mhmm.

Anfisa [01:00:28]:
The person's experience of life.

Hélène Ioannides [01:00:30]:
Yeah. Yes.

Anfisa [01:00:32]:
Like, I'm sure you can you you all you would also have an example of a day where you're like, I had no time for me and I have to deal with A lot right now. Yes. And how you felt on those days and on days where you're like, hey. I recorded a podcast. Yeah. I already, attended to all of the other things. You know, like, I I did my laundry or whatever it is that you do in your day. I had my nice cup of cacao, and, hey ho, I've got a play date with my kids now.

Anfisa [01:01:00]:
Yeah. Yeah. Until that feels otherwise. Yeah. So Yeah.

Hélène Ioannides [01:01:05]:
Are there days that you feel that if you haven't done enough, you are also able to praise yourself that you can surrender into that?

Anfisa [01:01:21]:
Not really. Okay. No. I'm just like okay.

Hélène Ioannides [01:01:27]:
You you know, I feel like I hear a lot about, you know, going into your more feminine side, which is always like going into creative, and surrendering. And there are moments that you truly feel like, you know what? Today, I'm just not gonna do anything. I wanna procrastinate.

Anfisa [01:01:44]:
Oh, yeah. That doesn't have to be feminine. I mean, feminine can show up as the seductress, the mother, the, the powerful woman. I mean, she can be a lot of things. She doesn't just have to surrender and be, yeah, going with the flow. She can also do that. But, Yeah. I have those days.

Anfisa [01:02:04]:
Yes. I even know that it's usually my Wednesday in the week where I'll just flow and I'll be home. Okay. And there's not much I gotta do today. There's no need to put the washing machine in 3 times and run up and down the stairs To do the clothes or yeah. It's just more tomorrow. Yeah. I have those days.

Anfisa [01:02:30]:
Yes.

Hélène Ioannides [01:02:30]:
Yeah. Amazing.

Anfisa [01:02:31]:
But I wouldn't like, if I have an off day completely, I really try to spot the things that I betrayed myself on. I didn't show up to, or the things that are at the back of my mind for 3 days and I still haven't done them, or message the person or call them to say, hey. I'm not gonna be able to do this and, like, not piling up things. Mhmm. That I I tell myself, sit down, get your notebook, write it all out, attend to it

Hélène Ioannides [01:03:01]:
Mhmm.

Anfisa [01:03:01]:
So we can move past that.

Hélène Ioannides [01:03:03]:
Okay.

Anfisa [01:03:04]:
So they're surrendering into the flow will be actually getting lost in this.

Hélène Ioannides [01:03:08]:
Uh-huh. In the process of getting organized.

Anfisa [01:03:12]:
In the process of letting everything just kind of go on its own course.

Hélène Ioannides [01:03:17]:
Okay. Are we talking about Wednesdays now specifically? Or or, a tough day. A tough day. Okay.

Anfisa [01:03:23]:
Yeah. Okay. Boo.

Hélène Ioannides [01:03:26]:
I see you watching. I see you watching. I'm really enjoying this episode. So if you're this far through the episode, make sure that you like and subscribe. It really helps our channel. Thank you. So you mentioned you have a psychologist.

Anfisa [01:03:40]:
Yes.

Hélène Ioannides [01:03:40]:
Okay. Is that something you'd like to talk about? Was that a conscious decision?

Anfisa [01:03:47]:
I think being in the work and working with people Mhmm. You, first of all, have to take care of yourself. Mhmm. Because this is where the concept of integrity comes in. Mhmm. So in order to sit in a circle and not be, biased, triggered, judging the other people that are sharing their own, ideas and problems, But not necessarily a circle, just sitting with anybody. Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [01:04:16]:
Yeah.

Anfisa [01:04:19]:
You have to have attended to those parts inside of you in order to be truly there and truly hold space and not occupy this with your own problems. Make it about yourself. So it this is a part of my self care. I have, either a a practitioner who's holding space for me or my psychologist or I go to a massage session. I mean, I have different people that attend to different things that I have, and I will pick and choose what I'm a little bit missing on or need support with in order to show up in the world with the most integrity. Yeah. Having processed my own shit.

Hélène Ioannides [01:05:06]:
Yeah. Precisely. You know? Yeah. And having, been able to sit with yourself enough to understand that, you know, I have my own things to deal with, but I need to deal with them by myself with another practitioner, another psychologist, and come to a space where I hold space for people having done the work myself.

Anfisa [01:05:28]:
Yes. Because otherwise, it's not a safe space. Yeah. Mhmm. Mhmm. And also, you cannot help them or teach them or, Support them or mentor them if you haven't done this for yourself. At least this is what I stand by. Mhmm.

Anfisa [01:05:42]:
I know there are people that, do work that are is not part of their life Mhmm. Which is okay. I don't know how they do this personally.

Hélène Ioannides [01:05:52]:
Yeah.

Anfisa [01:05:53]:
But I know there's a lot of practitioners that say that, work with cancer patients not having had cancer, for example. Mhmm. Yes? Or working with people who are addicted, not having been addicted, which is fine. Mhmm. It's their passion. It's something that blossoms them. Great. I mean, we need these people in the world.

Anfisa [01:06:11]:
Yeah. It's amazing. But in my own experience, like, going back to it, The only way I feel that I can truly, wholeheartedly help people with is by going through my own experience and having attended to my own problems and challenges.

Hélène Ioannides [01:06:33]:
Have you ever been to a space where you can see that the space holder hasn't done the work on themselves.

Anfisa [01:06:44]:
Oh, yes. Yeah. Yes. It's, it's more common than not.

Hélène Ioannides [01:06:50]:
I know.

Anfisa [01:06:51]:
It's more common than not.

Hélène Ioannides [01:06:54]:
I feel that.

Anfisa [01:06:55]:
It's like everything. I mean, To find good quality, there's always less. And medium quality, there's always a lot. Bad quality, there's plenty Of anything? Mhmm. I mean, anything. Clothes, food, services. So it's just It spreads to everything. So in this work, there's also that.

Anfisa [01:07:18]:
Mhmm. So Mhmm. Like anything.

Hélène Ioannides [01:07:21]:
Is there any question that you have for me?

Anfisa [01:07:24]:
Yeah. What was the biggest lesson in your life until now?

Hélène Ioannides [01:07:35]:
Wow. So many. Okay. I have to pick. My one of my biggest lessons was the power that we hold in our bodies. And that came about through my lack of connection to my body. And through dance and movement and physical exercise, I found that I would lose myself in a very meditative state. And when I wasn't practicing or working out, I didn't feel like myself.

Hélène Ioannides [01:08:28]:
And therefore, when I went through the process of staying pregnant and putting on a a lot of weight, the way that I came back to rediscovering that I can be well emotionally and mentally was through the physical.

Anfisa [01:08:49]:
Mhmm. It was like an access point for you to well-being.

Hélène Ioannides [01:08:53]:
Yes.

Anfisa [01:08:54]:
Okay. Was there something that happened that was, like, a turning point and you're like, woah. Okay. I really gotta learn about my physical body.

Hélène Ioannides [01:09:04]:
I was already I I always I was always very attuned to my body. I'm I'm very aware of emotions in my body. And they've always been my indicator with, like I would always say, like, I know it's that because I feel like it's that. Mhmm. I would be in tune with it, and that's always been the case. So when I went through a process of disconnecting to my body was when I realized how connected I had to be. Yeah. And that was a process of me putting on 10 kilos, of not exercising, of just going so deep into my thoughts and having really bad eating habit habits that I lost myself.

Hélène Ioannides [01:09:48]:
So when I found myself in the gym again Mhmm. Or exercising or just moving my body or going out for runs in nature, I was like, this feels good. This doesn't feel like what I feel like the rest of the day, so I need to be doing more of this. And that's exactly what I used when I was pregnant, and then I I had to come out of depression because I went through that after giving her birth. And yeah. So I think that's one of my one of my biggest lessons that we have to use this body as much as we can.

Anfisa [01:10:23]:
Is that what helps you also get out of the depression that you just mentioned?

Hélène Ioannides [01:10:28]:
Yes. Yeah.

Anfisa [01:10:29]:
It's your your your tool.

Hélène Ioannides [01:10:31]:
Yes. It's my tool. My body is my tool.

Anfisa [01:10:33]:
Beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Well done. Thank you for sharing.

Hélène Ioannides [01:10:38]:
Thank you so much, Anfisa. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, you know, like your experiences. Thank you for being here. It's been a pleasure having a chat with you and having this cup of cacao that we are working through, and hope to see you soon.

Anfisa [01:10:52]:
Yeah. Thank you so much for having me and inviting me. It's been a pleasure and Real fun.

Hélène Ioannides [01:10:59]:
It has been.

Anfisa [01:11:01]:
Thank you.

Hélène Ioannides [01:11:02]:
Bye bye. Thank you. Thank you so much for watching this episode. It's been an absolutely pleasure filming it for you guys. If you like the work that we are putting out into the world, please make sure you like this video and you subscribe to our channel. It really helps the work that we do. And if you would like to follow our journey on our IG account as well as learn more about our services, We provide everything for you in the description below. Thanks for watching.