Relationship Struggles and Tensions: The Weight of Unspoken Words | EP 24

In Marriage, Where Do The Lines Between Therapist and Partner Start and End?

In relationships, finding the balance between our roles and genuine emotional connections can be challenging, especially when one partner is a mental health professional.

Dr. Ioannou candidly shares his struggle with detaching from his professional role to be fully present as a husband and father.  This is a powerful exploration of the responsibilities and challenges in a relationship where one partner is also a therapist.

With her insightful observations, Hélène touches on the craving for emotional presence that many of us face in today's fast-paced world, where roles often define interactions more than genuine emotional connections.

Chapters:
04:14 - Need for Casual Conversation
10:21 - Struggling to Set Boundaries
14:50 - Seeking Validation
27:40 - Criticism That Left Me Feeling Inadequate

Dr. Ioannou and Hélène candidly share their personal struggles, offering a rare glimpse into the dynamics of a couple deeply involved in the mental health field. They explore the delicate balance between professional expertise and emotional availability, touching on crucial aspects of listening, understanding, and being truly present for each other.

Join Dr. Ioannou and Hélène as they navigate the nuances of listening without the urge to provide solutions, a common trait among mental health professionals but sometimes a barrier in a personal relationship.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the deeper aspects of relationships, especially where one or both partners are in the mental health field.

Press play and discover how you can keep the genuine connection growing in your relationship.

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Chapters

• 4:14 Need for Casual Conversation
• 10:21 Struggling to Set Boundaries
• 14:50 Seeking Validation
• 27:40 Criticism That Left Me Feeling Inadequate

Transcript

Hélène Ioannides [00:00:00]:
Welcome to HealthPod, your self development hub

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:00:02]:
on mental health, psychology, and spirituality. As a husband, I, I think it's it is one of my responsibilities for you to feel content and feel held. There's You

Hélène Ioannides [00:00:16]:
see, Even the way you are putting that into words, you sound like a therapist. This is exactly it. Sometimes I just wouldn't have a conversation. I don't need you to always hold space for me.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:00:30]:
It doesn't come easy because when you say certain things to me, and especially if they're direct, they're also painful. You started tearing my masculinity apart. When is there ever gonna be enough? So we're here today to discuss about our relationship.

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:06]:
Jesus, Deb.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:01:07]:
As you can understand, we're here to expose, No.

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:12]:
We're not here to expose.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:01:14]:
Okay. See, we already have a discussion and disagreement.

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:20]:
So Bree and Mike.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:01:21]:
So this podcast started quite well for you guys. I hope you feel entertained and that you'll gain something from this podcast in regards to our honest discussion as a couple, and what we're going through in our relationship, maybe you will find some insightful tips on the ways that they could help your relationship, and please let us know on the comments below what you think about this episode. Hello. Hi.

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:51]:
Hello, doctor Stefanos. Hello, husband. Hello, father of my children, And welcome to Healthford.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:02:00]:
So I'm gonna start, to this conversation with something that you said to me the other day that, you know what? Sometimes I just want you to listen to me, and I don't want you to be a therapist.

Hélène Ioannides [00:02:16]:
Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:02:18]:
But I want my husband, which I find very difficult to detach from the therapist role, let go of this armor or this brain that I'm carrying throughout the day and actually be fully present with you to support you emotionally, to just listen to you without providing, in a way, solutions.

Hélène Ioannides [00:02:50]:
Yeah. I said that. What about that?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:02:53]:
So what about that? You

Hélène Ioannides [00:02:56]:
want me to elaborate?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:02:57]:
As a husband, I, I think it's it is one of my responsibilities, and I've been carrying that for, a long time now, for you to feel content, happy, safe and feel held in in a relationship. Something that doesn't come easy for me, but I always, let's say, make sure that after I finish work, that I come back to you, and, I provide space for you to express yourself.

Hélène Ioannides [00:03:39]:
Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:03:40]:
Now there's You see, even

Hélène Ioannides [00:03:42]:
the way you are Putting that into words, you sound like a therapist.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:03:49]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:03:50]:
In the context of Explaining that you make space you hold, you know, you hold space for me at night or we will speak, You already look at it as there's this task that you have to do Mhmm. When you come home to make sure that your wife's okay, and that comes obviously from your own guilt about whatever

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:04:14]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:04:14]:
It is that you are carrying around that, but this is exactly it. Sometimes I just wanna have a conversation. I don't need you to always hold space for me. And yeah. You listen, but it it's just I think we Forget the connection between us Because of how many roles we play throughout the day. And then we come home, and we we we carry on those roles, and we forget how to be together As a couple, where you just talk about shit. You know? You talk about stuff that isn't so important. And it's not about The organization of the house, it's not about what the kids did.

Hélène Ioannides [00:05:10]:
It's not about, you know, what the plans are for tomorrow. But it has more to do with how are you feeling?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:05:18]:
Okay.

Hélène Ioannides [00:05:19]:
How was your day? If I have something to talk about, To be able to have your full attention and for you to not be so much in your mind, thinking about What do I have to answer? What do I have to say to her in order for her to feel heard or validated or that I'm acknowledging her? But to actually be present to be interested.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:05:45]:
To be interested.

Hélène Ioannides [00:05:46]:
To be interested in what I'm saying.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:05:50]:
Hi, guys. Thank you for watching. I'm doctor Stefano Siano, and I'm a psychophysiologist. I specialize on stress and anxiety and also on communication issues between couples. So for those of you that might be facing this type of problems, I provide the link for you below to book your 1 to 1 session with me. See you there. What what is something that I do without me noticing that frustrates you.

Hélène Ioannides [00:06:21]:
Do you want the list?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:06:24]:
Okay. Okay. Don't you don't have to give the full list. Just give

Hélène Ioannides [00:06:27]:
I will I'll keep it relevant to what we were just talking about. When I speak to you and you're in your phone and you answer with Mhmm. And I know I have completely been ignored. You have not heard what I said. And I know I'm gonna have to repeat that again another 2 to 3 times at some point, especially if it's something that we need to get done or we need to talk about, what it's got to do with the podcast. I know that I'm not being heard. I'm not being acknowledged. Even the mhmm is

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:07:02]:
Yeah. And then mhmm is definitely a sign that I'm not listening to you. Yeah. And it's something that we started integrating a couple of of months ago, actually, in which, we, we stopped watching TV altogether, we rarely watch TV. We might put some music on. We light candles.

Hélène Ioannides [00:07:24]:
Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:07:24]:
And we just try to be fully present with each other and just hold space. Just just listen with that with trying more to understand now we need to say that this doesn't happen always. Yeah.

Hélène Ioannides [00:07:44]:
I was about

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:07:46]:
Say that. Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah. It doesn't happen always. Not necessarily provide solutions, but in the framework of a good conversation with any human human being, and what we usually do most of the times is that we usually project our own thoughts onto our partner, in regards to any topic, we most of the time, we interrupt our partner while our loved one speaks to us, which causes frustration and tension to build up. So we're not really active listeners.

Hélène Ioannides [00:08:27]:
No. No. We're not. And I'm guilty of doing that as well. Of course, it's not just, You know, it's some sort of a defense mechanism. And and no. Not defense. An automated mechanism that we have as humans or specific people with specific personalities that Wanna fix the situation.

Hélène Ioannides [00:08:56]:
That want to provide guidance

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:08:59]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:08:59]:
Through Thinking or believing that they know best. Whereas sometimes the easiest thing to do and the simplest thing to do is ask the opinion of the other person And what they think about a specific topic or how to approach it. You know? How did it make you feel?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:09:20]:
Yeah, and and you're right. We need to ask for permission to express our opinion. Mhmm. We don't I really know what are the requirements of our partner.

Hélène Ioannides [00:09:32]:
But I've got to say, you have to be very present yes. We make it sound easy because we are both you know, I'm a coach. You're you're mental health expert, so we listen to people a lot. But when it comes to us

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:09:53]:
and we wanna be heard.

Hélène Ioannides [00:09:55]:
We also want to be heard because you you are listening to people all day. You know? And then you come to the point where you you come home and you want to be able to also be heard and to be able to express, but to do it in the same Structure as you do it as we do it with our clients, comes With more effort when it has to do with ourselves.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:10:21]:
Mhmm. Mhmm. It's a very thin line for me. And I find it very difficult to differentiate between being in a professional setup where the person comes to you, makes an energy exchange to be heard and kind of for you being a clean slate for them to have a discussion with themselves and you basically doing asking the right questions, which is something that we also do together asking questions, but sometimes it's it's it becomes annoying between us. Yeah. Like, we start asking questions. Oh, you feel this way from where did that come from? Or did your mom make you feel like this? Or did your dad make you feel like this? Why do you seek this validation? Does this come from a place of ego? 

And it's like we broke each other apart, and we put each other back together, and there is frustration being built up, that it's constructive, but it takes away from our relationship the spontaneity of being what can I can I say can I use the phrase normal human? Can I say use the phrase let's say, being naive about certain things because we've reached the point that we know each other so well in regards roles? That we play a role.

Hélène Ioannides [00:12:01]:
We don't play roles, actually, is what I I am saying. Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:12:04]:
We don't we don't play roles. Yes.

Hélène Ioannides [00:12:06]:
The masks on. Like, there's the filters. They're hardly there. I don't know. I'm talking about myself.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:12:12]:
And and we try not to project either. At least, I'm I'm vigilant of that. So

Hélène Ioannides [00:12:18]:
What do you think has been the most, essential part of our relationship to okay. Let's just say that we've been together 14 years.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:12:27]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:12:28]:
And there have been many struggles And lots of growth, lots of changes. We have changed as individuals, But we have done so together, but we've had a lot of arguments along the way. There's been a lot of, Micro tweaking and adjustments in order to be able to stay on the same in

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:12:57]:
the same path.

Hélène Ioannides [00:12:58]:
On the same path or on our own individual path, but supporting each other while doing so without one of us wanting to be Over here, and then the other one, you know, having completely different dreams. So there's some sort of alignment there. So what do you think has been the most Essential part.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:13:18]:
So I can speak about myself. I understand that a lot of my core values as a man relate back to my family. Mhmm. I might not necessarily take into account a lot of the opinions that other people might have of me, good or bad. Mhmm. But I take into account greatly the opinion that my partner has of me. So that is what I take as a compass. And that has always been what I have taken as a compass for my life until now after we've we came into a committed relationship together.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:14:17]:
Now I I don't know if I'm reading your face correctly.

Hélène Ioannides [00:14:20]:
I'm I'm a bit tired, but

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:14:22]:
so don't

Hélène Ioannides [00:14:22]:
don't read my

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:14:23]:
face. You're okay. Yeah. I I don't know if I if you're getting if if I'm answering your question right. Now through the evolution through my personal evolution as a man Mhmm. And which is a role that I'm still discovering. Is that I've always seeked your spiritual guidance in terms of which direction I should take.

Hélène Ioannides [00:14:49]:
Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:14:50]:
And and I will explain a little bit more about this because this this might sound wrong. Now we all carry our insecurities, and most of us, we don't really believe in ourself. Mhmm. Now we're expecting from another person to truly see our power and in a way, push us into a direction in which will fully be yourself, but also for the other person to be prepared to hold us in the occasion that things might not go as planned. And and for me, this has been the phenomenon in many cases in in our path together in which you were always there supporting me. I was communicating my fears, my pain, my weaknesses, and you're like, Steph, if only you could see how powerful you are. If only you could see the things that you can achieve, if only, you would believe a little bit more on yourself, if you would love yourself a bit more, which put me into an introspective process of trying to understand more myself. Now saying this

Hélène Ioannides [00:16:14]:
Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:16:15]:
It doesn't come easy because when you say certain things to me, and especially if they're direct, they're also painful. Yeah. And they hurt me. And when they hurt me, I close-up emotionally. And I question my partner based on, are her words coming from a place of love? Or is she trying to tear me down right now and put doubt into my head that I'm not enough? Because wanting your partner to excel could be a good being a good partner, being a good father, being a good professional. In the point that you are telling them you could be more, you could be a champion at this, it's like it still throws you back into a a point where you feel like, damn, I'm not enough. Mhmm. I'm not I'm still not good enough.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:17:20]:
What else could I do for my partner to fully embrace me as I am, when is there ever gonna be enough of me as a father, as a provider, as a partner.

Hélène Ioannides [00:17:36]:
Yeah. Doesn't that come from you though? Are you feeling you're enough?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:17:41]:
It definitely comes from me of not feeling enough. And this is what I I see most of the times in which I'm stressed and not relaxed, that I perceive your words towards me as hostile.

Hélène Ioannides [00:17:55]:
Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:17:56]:
And then eventually I close-up, and I don't hear your words as coming from a place of love because my ego gets in the way

Hélène Ioannides [00:18:09]:
Okay.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:18:10]:
Mhmm. Or my maternal wound might come in the way, and you're a powerful, authoritative woman, in which I've I need to and and the reason why you might be like this is because you might have never been fully held by the masculine to be in your full feminine nature, to feel held, to feel safe, and the way you are communicating your message might come in a direct masculine we could call it masculine way. Now the way I would like to be communicated, which, I believe that the way that you're communicating to me, it's absolutely perfect because otherwise, I wouldn't listen, and this is possibly why you're doing it. Because if you're soft with me, I would just

Hélène Ioannides [00:19:21]:
You can listen.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:19:22]:
Yeah. I would just maybe brush it off.

Hélène Ioannides [00:19:24]:
Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:19:25]:
So you find a model that works for your partner. And I'm grateful for that. Boo.

Hélène Ioannides [00:19:32]:
I see you watching. I see you watching. I'm really enjoying this episode. So if you're this far Through the episode, make sure that you like and subscribe. It really helps our channel. Thank you. And so going back to the question that I asked you

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:19:46]:
Mhmm. What

Hélène Ioannides [00:19:47]:
do you think has been essential to keeping our relationship together? Would you say That based on what Yuan said, it has to do with it almost sounds like you described me as I'm your compass

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:20:02]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:20:03]:
In which direction you should go, which I mean, it's quite lucky that I I I personally find, I am not manipulative. Mhmm. And I work in the best interest of you as a person to get where you need to and for our family, you know, to you fully trust In in my own perception, in my own intuition, In in me guiding you. Because sometimes your own mind gets in the way. It's not that you don't know or that you can't use your own intuition or your own compass because when you are in that alignment, You know, you have all the answers. But at times, because of how overloaded your work schedule is and busy you you are very much in your head, which doesn't give you the ability to

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:21:08]:
To feel.

Hélène Ioannides [00:21:09]:
To feel, To connect to your body, to listen to what is this message I'm receiving.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:21:16]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:21:16]:
And that can be, you know, through your you Contracting in your body. It could just be a tightness in your stomach that you're not even sensing. But as soon as I'm around you, I'm already I've read you. I've I've picked it up. I'm I'm feeling the energy in my own body. And with that, I can Translate that into into words to sort of say, you know, oh, take a moment here. Take a break. And with that, realign yourself, or maybe this isn't the right thing that you're doing, perhaps you could take it from this perspective.

Hélène Ioannides [00:21:57]:
I think you read that comment in a in a negative way or how, you know, That was said.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:22:06]:
I think what has kept us together is that we always check-in on each other. We're we're That's

Hélène Ioannides [00:22:12]:
a really good point.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:22:14]:
On a on a daily basis. And it's Yes. And and one one of the main questions that happen on a daily basis is how do you feel today? How how are you? Are you okay? Are you not okay? And we're so in tune with each one's facial expressions that we know just by seeing the other person, seeing our partner, and I think this is the level of work that we have put into our relationship that we know when our our partner doesn't feel well.

Hélène Ioannides [00:22:51]:
And we don't ignore it.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:22:52]:
And we don't ignore it.

Hélène Ioannides [00:22:54]:
We actually bring awareness to it.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:22:56]:
Yes. I I you're not well. What's going on? Or you could say, for example, I feel very overwhelmed with the kids. There were things that I wanted to do for myself today, but I didn't manage to accomplish my list, my goal.

Hélène Ioannides [00:23:10]:
Put it very nicely. I think that's how I say it.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:23:12]:
Yeah. And this is they say Well, like, Yes. Or or but you wanna vent sometimes. And I need to provide space for you to express your frustration. To express the fact that, you know what? You fucker, I'm always here for you, to listen to you, to look after our kids, to try and look after myself throughout the day, to run a podcast, to arrange your schedule, to arrange our holidays, to you there are so many things that revolve around you, organization, so many things that

Hélène Ioannides [00:23:54]:
Do you want me to give you a list of them as well?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:23:56]:
No. Because I understand, and I'm grateful for them. But there's sometimes that you as a man, we think that she's tired. What are you tired of? You've all you've been all day at home.

Hélène Ioannides [00:24:10]:
Please don't tell me you're saying that.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:24:12]:
I'm not saying that. Definitely never. And but even if that was a scenario, I think the most treacherous place is the most treacherous place yeah. Let's count. The most treacherous place to be Yeah. In life, it's it's within your own mind. Mhmm. It's within your own mind.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:24:33]:
So and your mind can be a very destructive place to be, so it is easier, let's say, to be doing things and getting involved with people and altering your reality, but it's much harder to sit with yourself, to sit with your innermost darkest thoughts. That if you do, they're eating you up alive. Expectations, the priming of society, you should be doing something with your life. You should be working. You should be making money. You have so much potential. You could be this. You could be that.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:25:09]:
And that puts you into a a place where you never feel enough, especially as a woman. Oh, I, I look after the kids. I, I don't know. I look after the house. I cook.

Hélène Ioannides [00:25:24]:
Yeah. We I think, though, just to sorry to interrupt you.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:25:27]:
Yeah. Do so. I'm not saying that you cook.

Hélène Ioannides [00:25:31]:
No. I don't cook.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:25:32]:
Yes.

Hélène Ioannides [00:25:32]:
I don't. And I there are certain things that I'm very good at delegating that I know that I I don't have the time for this, and I don't have the time I don't have the time to cook. I have someone that helps me with cooking. I don't have the time to, Run, you know, the podcast for myself. There's always you know, there's there's people that you need in order to support you or, you know, I can't pick kids up. Can you? Can your mother help? Can someone can yeah. We need to pick him up, soon. You know, how how can this I don't even know what to call it.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:26:09]:
Structure? Structure.

Hélène Ioannides [00:26:10]:
You know, whether that's the family structure, the business structure, how can this run In a in with flow, in a way that Uh-huh. That things can get done, but you can also have the space and time For you to also have time to do things. And going back to what you said that to me, Success is, yes, about putting myself out there and being seen, but I I actually find Huge rewards in managing a household. Even though it's not being seen by anyone, I know how much work I'm putting into organizing the kids' timetables, making sure that the food is by

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:26:54]:
me either is it not being seen by me? Because this is something hurtful to come into realization that as men, we do not we take the things that our wife does for granted. And the way I see you in our family, and I understand this, I don't know if I am at the emotional level to fully communicate this or show it to you, and I apologize if I'm not, is that I see you as the glue that keeps our family structure, our business together. Mhmm. Because if you're not there, everything would be scattered.

Hélène Ioannides [00:27:37]:
Yeah. Which has happened And when I have gone away and basically everything falls

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:27:40]:
on you. Yes. And it has been when you left, I had to work until 12 o'clock at night from 6 to 12 to just cope with the workload that you were taking off my hands so that I can function, and I can function as a professional. And I was extremely tired, extremely tired. And when you came back, you're like, you haven't done a good job. Your family is your priority. Something that basically made me feel inadequate. Even though I was like, oh, she's way she wants to the stage, she's gonna do her own thing.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:28:23]:
I'm proud of her. She's pursuing her dreams. I'm fully supporting her. I can, go to the office. I can do a podcast. I can appear on a public event. I'm on I have my main circles. I have the kids.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:28:37]:
I'm picking them up on time. I'm going shopping with the kids.

Hélène Ioannides [00:28:41]:
You did try and

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:28:41]:
do it. Get sick

Hélène Ioannides [00:28:43]:
Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:28:45]:
It kind of slits my attention, which I took her to the doctor and eventually they didn't follow the right regime for therapy. And you come back, and, like, whole hell breaks loose, and and you started tearing my masculinity apart because you've, you've raised a very valid point. It's like your family is your priority.

Hélène Ioannides [00:29:14]:
Your kids. If your kids aren't well, then how could you be well?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:29:18]:
And if you're running after fame, after validation after helping people, you forget which is your core. Mhmm. And it took me a a quite a bit of time to come back from that blow from you because in a way it came as a form of self realization. Mhmm. What exactly are my priorities? Mhmm. Am I a good partner, a good father? Mhmm. And where exactly is my mind? Or or is it just a tick list? Because for me, it's just a tick list. I'm never present.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:29:57]:
Go and do this. Go and do that. Run after this, run after that, play this role. And and and I find it very difficult to be present. Enjoy. Slow down. Appreciate things. Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:30:18]:
Yeah. And having said that, I think appreciation for each other in Yeah. In all the small things. In all the small things. Because when I I had this debate with my brother, he's telling me, I disagree with what you've posted on, on Instagram about what women want from you and what men want from you. And he basically answered the his question. What the the only thing he said I want from my wife is to appreciate me. This is what most women say and complain about.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:31:00]:
My partner doesn't appreciate me. And at the month

Hélène Ioannides [00:31:05]:
what most

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:31:05]:
most women say about their their husbands.

Hélène Ioannides [00:31:08]:
Not men.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:31:09]:
Not men. Mhmm. My wife doesn't my part my, my husband doesn't appreciate me.

Hélène Ioannides [00:31:17]:
Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:31:18]:
The same thing, though, if you ask men, my wife doesn't appreciate me.

Hélène Ioannides [00:31:25]:
Yeah. Does it mean the same thing? In the sense that a woman is looking for appreciation by being told or being seen emotionally.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:31:36]:
Bravo.

Hélène Ioannides [00:31:36]:
So If you were to say say in words to me, you know, and look at me in the end and say, I so appreciate what you've done today, And I can see what a heavy workload you've got on just from the kids, forget about the rest of the things that I do as an example, Then I feel that, okay. Yeah. I'm being seen. I feel almost rewarded. It's like you're giving a candy to a kid.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:32:01]:
Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:32:02]:
But for men to feel appreciated, do they feel they need to hear the same things? Or is

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:32:10]:
and yes. So the the discrepancy here is that for a woman to feel appreciated is as you said it.

Hélène Ioannides [00:32:16]:
Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:32:19]:
She needs to feel emotionally seen.

Hélène Ioannides [00:32:21]:
Mhmm. And

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:32:21]:
men? Men want to be admired by their wives. And for a man to gain the admiration of a woman is through their through their actions, through their struggles that they're facing on a daily basis, and they're succeeding through the battles that they're winning, that's how a man perceives I'm gaining the gaining the admiration from my wife, it could be in a variety of domains. It could be a good father, good body, good athlete, good provider, good sexual intimacy. So there is a multiple aspects in which a man wants to feel admired by his wife, by his partner. And if a man doesn't receive that, their self esteem, their confidence starts dropping.

Hélène Ioannides [00:33:27]:
Thank you so much for watching this episode. It's been an absolute pleasure filming it for you guys. If you like the work that are putting out into the world. Please make sure you like this video and you subscribe to our channel. It really helps the work that we do.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:33:40]:
And if you would like to follow our journey on our IG account as well as learn more about our services, we provide everything for you in the description below. Thanks for watching.