The Unexpected Safe Space for Men’s Issues with Alkis | EP 13

What are Men Truly Struggling With?

A thought-provoking conversation with one of Dr. Stephanos' clients, Alkis. He is a dedicated advocate for creating safe spaces for men to open up and discuss their struggles.

Alkis will share his unique perspective on the importance for men to express their thoughts, feelings, and struggles. He takes us on a journey through his own experiences working with ill children to opening a barbershop. 

Exploring the emotional impact of his job as he often interacts with individuals dealing with difficult life circumstances.

Chapters

02:26 - Men's Inner Battles
07:29 - The Cost of Inauthentic Salesmanship
17:22 - Struggle for Recognition and Purpose
19:49 - The Ripple Effect of One Powerful, Life-Changing Message
28:07 - Rituals That Transform Mind and Mood
43:32 - The Day Vulnerability Turned to Victory
44:56 - Being Overweight & Hitting Rock Bottom
50:06 - Navigating Mental Health Apps
58:58 - Shining Your Light and Gratitude in Healing

Alkis will share his thoughts on the importance of being present and creating a non-judgmental environment, allowing people to open up and feel heard. 

We hope this episode will inspire compassion, empathy, and a greater understanding of the role we can all play in promoting mental health and well-being, one conversation at a time.

Join us as we visit an unexpected place that has the potential to become havens of support, understanding, and personal growth. 

Press play and step into a safe space.

EPISODE RESOURCES:
 
Connect with the Guest: @the_bearded_butcher

Receive Exclusive Tips, Strategies, & Early Access to Events Directly to Your Inbox
Sign up for the Empowered New You Newsletter

Empowered New You Events:
https://drstephanos.com/events/

Ready for a change?

Tackle stress, depression, insomnia, and relationship hurdles head-on
Talk with Dr. Stephano Ioannou in a dedicated  1:1 therapy session
Book your session today: https://tr.ee/5WT89sosUn

Designed for women like you, eager to awaken their fullest potential
Join Hélène for a 1:1 empowerment session
Schedule your call with her today: https://tr.ee/cq-rYVY1NZ

Contact us with questions, ideas, or feedback:
Health Pod Podcast

Follow our socials:
@iamhelenealexiioannides
@drstephanos_neuroscientist
@wearehealthpod

Support the Show:
Share this episode with a friend
Give us a review in your listening app of choice

Chapters

• 2:26 Men's Inner Battles
• 7:29 The Cost of Inauthentic Salesmanship
• 17:22 Struggle for Recognition and Purpose
• 19:49 The Ripple Effect of One Powerful, Life-Changing Message
• 28:07 Rituals That Transform Mind and Mood
• 43:32 The Day Vulnerability Turned to Victory
• 44:56 Being Overweight & Hitting Rock Bottom
• 50:06 Navigating Mental Health Apps
• 58:58 Shining Your Light and Gratitude in Healing

Transcript

Hélène Ioannides [00:00:00]:

Welcome to Health Pod, your self development hub

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:00:02]:

on mental health, psychology, and spirituality.

Alkis [00:00:06]:

I thought I knew what depression was. Boy, was I wrong. I thought I was gonna die. I wasn't in control, and that was the scariest thing, like not really being in control. This isn't me. This isn't who I am. This isn't a man. This isn't a person who's gonna run a shot.

Alkis [00:00:19]:

This isn't a person who's gonna be a father. This isn't gonna be a person who's gonna take care of others. This ain't gonna be a person that's gonna take care of myself. I don't know how she stuck with me through that shit. The things I was telling her, the the thoughts are based on her, and she's just stuck on. She didn't run away. She didn't move. See if she's there.

Alkis [00:00:37]:

I go act fast. That voice inside of me was like, Get your fucking ass in gear right now. Otherwise, you've lost it. That's what I thought.

Hélène Ioannides [00:00:59]:

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:01:03]:

Wait. I thought I was gonna be the intro

Alkis [00:01:05]:

I thought I was gonna do the Wait.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:01:06]:

Wait. Okay.

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:07]:

Can we just stop? Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:01:08]:

Okay. Let's let's, let's go. Okay. You 2, you confuse me. So You know

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:16]:

that's just gonna be part

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:01:17]:

of it. Okay. Just a minute. Can I can I just introduce our

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:20]:

Prego, Prego?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:01:21]:

Thank you very much. Can we all be serious for for a minute? Okay. So we're here today with Alcis Theodulo. Theodore or Theodore? Wait a minute. We're here today with Alcis Theodore.

Alkis [00:01:33]:

Come on.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:01:34]:

So as his surname implies, He's a gift from God, and indeed he is. He's one of my best friends, and he's also my barber. So Alki or for those of you that know him as the butcher, AKA Butcher, he's the owner of the Barbershop, the house of the butcher that specialize on male grooming. So for those of you that have not checked him out yet, Please do so, and you will not be disappointed.

Alkis [00:02:07]:

Good morning. Good morning.

Hélène Ioannides [00:02:08]:

Good morning. Kamira.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:02:09]:

Welcome. Morning. Welcome. Yeah. Good. It is a pleasure for us to have you here.

Alkis [00:02:12]:

It's amazing to be here. Your setup is lovely, very bonsoe.

Hélène Ioannides [00:02:17]:

Thank you.

Alkis [00:02:17]:

Feel.

Hélène Ioannides [00:02:18]:

Thank you.

Alkis [00:02:18]:

I like it a lot. Especially like the, background choice of the color.

Hélène Ioannides [00:02:22]:

Why, thank you.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:02:26]:

Okay. So Let me start the conversation because I know that if I let you 2 chat between you, the the conversation is just gonna drift away, and we're not gonna Tackle, male mental health. Let's go. Now I wanna start by saying that The 1st time I saw you and the 1st time that I interacted with you as a professional was when I I came to you to get my beard trim at the Black Star.

Alkis [00:02:55]:

I remember.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:02:56]:

And immediately for me, There was a connection there because I felt that there was something more than just You grooming excellently my beard, but there was also an emotional connection. And it made me, as a man, feel safe And made me safe enough also to open up. And, usually, what I say about you, you go to this guy not only to To groom your beard, but to also groom your soul. And That's

Alkis [00:03:31]:

a nice one. In one way Put that shit on a t shirt.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:03:37]:

I see that, we we're kind of, did a similar job, But in a different way, we provide a safe space for people to express themself.

Alkis [00:03:48]:

For sure.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:03:49]:

Now what inspired you To become a barber.

Alkis [00:03:54]:

You wanna inspire me to become a barber. So I studied psychology in, in university. Did you? I did. Yeah. Yeah. I got my degree in West London University. Shout out West London. Yeah.

Alkis [00:04:12]:

So I've I've always been very interested in the mind. I've always been interested in The ability to help people, just words. And, you know, not through actions or any certain things, just by an understanding of 1 one person to another. And I was very, very intrigued by how someone has that ability, to be able to not only give, like you said, a safe space, but to make them understand the simplest of things. Because sometimes when you're so crowded and your head's a mess and there's too many things going on, It's the simple things that actually make the big difference. You know? Big things come in small packages. And me, I love the little things in life. Do you know what I mean? Someone that might give you your a free coffee because you go there every day or seeing the same person walk past the street with a dog, and you say, Kalimera.

Hélène Ioannides [00:04:54]:

Yeah.

Alkis [00:04:54]:

These are the things that, you know, make my day my day.

Hélène Ioannides [00:04:57]:

Yeah. They humanize us.

Alkis [00:04:58]:

Exactly. Exactly. So, yeah, I went into psychology. It was amazing. It really was. I finished it. I actually didn't enjoy the 1st 2 years because there was a lot of statistics. I don't really like maths.

Alkis [00:05:10]:

Mhmm. Yeah. Because it was quite boring, and it looked like there was a lot of psychologists, like, bitching about other psychologists about their findings, and It it was a bit, like, messier. Exactly. But, on 3rd year, though, that's where it got interesting because that's when we had the ability to do what we wanted to do. So I think maybe that's an element of control, but we actually I got to study, what interest me the most, and that was PLEs, which means psychotic like experiences. Mhmm. Because that was what my dissertation was based on.

Alkis [00:05:37]:

And that was fascinating, because I actually got to, like, interview people, get feedback, then put my own studies, my own results into the statistics, which made it a bit more fun because it's my findings. And we've done some really, really good work. Ended up working afterwards in the Great Ormond Hospital in Russell Square, thanks to my cousin who was also the head of ophthalmology there. And, to this day, it's probably one most difficult job I've ever had to do in my life. Really? Yeah. I'm an emotional person. Mhmm. Like, really emotional.

Alkis [00:06:06]:

I mean, I cried Titanic.

Hélène Ioannides [00:06:07]:

You know what

Alkis [00:06:07]:

I mean? That's the kind of emotional person I am.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:06:10]:

Didn't everyone cry at Titanic?

Alkis [00:06:11]:

There was enough space for 2 people. Don't get me started. Moving on. I Moving on. I ain't getting there again, man. I've said it before. But yeah. So for me, it was very difficult to to hear and then also Go back with it.

Alkis [00:06:26]:

It was very difficult. Like, you're dealing with, like, children who've been abused. You're dealing with children who, are terminal, and you have to, like, interview their parents on how they're dealing with it. And I was quite young at the time as well, and it would hit me hard. I remember saying to my cousin, like, how how did you do this? How have you been doing this for so many years? Like, he says to me, you never get used to it. Eventually, you just become kind of numb to the situation. Mhmm. And then it becomes like a normal job, and you know that you're helping.

Alkis [00:06:50]:

And I said, I can't do that. And he goes, we will get out now. Yeah. You know? Because I could see him, like, it's it's just difficult to have that toll. And I don't think I was myself physically and emotionally, mentally ready to take on that part, because I think I just jumped into it straight away. So then I used my psychology to get into sales, commercial psychology, which is the complete opposite of helping people. You're just making them spend their money.

Hélène Ioannides [00:07:14]:

But brain was brain wasn't

Alkis [00:07:15]:

Literally on absolutely rubbish they do not need. Mhmm. And I was in working in Hamleys and Harrods as a manager. Great fun. You know, you're working everyone's like, oh, it must be so nice. They're working with toys all day. I'm like, yeah. It's not like that.

Alkis [00:07:29]:

You know, you have to put on this really, like, fake persona and smile and make people literally by rubbish that they do not need to fill up their empty spaces of their soul. It is I went too deep into it, and I'm like, this is not what I wanna be doing for the rest of my life. And the thing is, in my sales technique, I actually switched up to be more honest with the people, so I feel better. And then I'm selling more because I was being very honest with them. Listen, it's not what you see me doing. I wasn't born drawing perfect rainbows with this rainbow sponge. But with enough practice, you'll get there eventually. It says 3 and up.

Alkis [00:08:02]:

I'd recommend 7. Like, I would be very honest, and the sales just went up. And I'm like, okay. This has just made it even worse, because I'm selling more stuff now, and I'm thinking, is this the right thing to do? So I decided to leave, from one day to the next. I was becoming a person I didn't wanna become in that job. I found it too corporate. It was in the city. You going afterwards drinking too much.

Alkis [00:08:24]:

I was I could see myself in just a very bad path. You know, you're constantly not really there. You're somewhere else. You're not present in your job. You're always thinking instead of focusing on what you're doing and, you know, to focus on what you're doing, that's meditation. So if I couldn't focus on what I was currently doing and my mind was elsewhere, then, obviously, I'm doing the wrong thing. Mhmm. And it's also the the beginning, I start going out my missus, and, you know, I told her, listen, I'm not happy.

Alkis [00:08:50]:

I wanna start barbering. Now how did I get the idea of starting barbering? Now my grandmother was a hairdresser. My auntie's a hairdresser. My grandfather owned some salons in the UK, but I was never really involved with that side of the family that much when I was younger. I was always involved with my dad. We were working in bars and clubs and nightlife. I used to work in bars in the UK as well and clubs. So that was kind of my least, because, again, it was interacting with People weren't listening to music, and I was active, and I liked it.

Alkis [00:09:16]:

But I came home one day depressed as if sometimes I swear, by the way, is is I'll try not to. Okay. Cool. Because my mom tells me off when I swear.

Hélène Ioannides [00:09:24]:

She's not here.

Alkis [00:09:26]:

She's everywhere. She's everywhere. She's here.

Hélène Ioannides [00:09:29]:

She sees everything.

Alkis [00:09:31]:

Bless the hell of my mom. But yeah. So I came home one day, and I put on, like, a video recommendation. And it was just this old geezer, doing a demonstration on how to cut a beard with, like, the traditional hot leather and the towel and the foam and the blade. And, like, you know, he had his beard. He had his tats on show. He felt comfortable. He felt free.

Alkis [00:09:51]:

I'm like, bet no one tells him to cut his beard. I bet no one tells him he can't show his tats. I bet no one tells him that he can't listen to this music. And it it showed an element of freedom, and it showed, like, The ability to show who you are, but also your work comes you show your work through your actions in this kind of job. Mhmm. So I thought maybe this is the kind of path that I need to take. So literally, the next day, I quit my job. I found the best score I could possibly find in the UK.

Alkis [00:10:19]:

It was a London School of Barbering. Took a 9 week crash course, came first in the end of the year for the competition, which also gave me, like, a nice boost to know that I'm in the right direction. Traveled a little bit to different countries to see how they cut ahead, to try maybe work elsewhere. I was given a really good opportunity by my former boss who is a very big mentor to me. I've also got his logo tattooed on my leg because that's the 1st barber shop I ever worked with. So, you know, you need to respect where you come from. Despite whether you've got a good relationship with or not, there needs to be an element of respect. Yeah.

Alkis [00:10:51]:

So, you know, we're all people. So, yeah, that was it, and it's been 8 years now. Best decision I ever

Hélène Ioannides [00:10:58]:

made. Never been been 8 years? Yeah.

Alkis [00:10:59]:

Yeah. It's only been around forever. I know. I know. Mhmm. It's weird. I do feel like it's been longer, but sometimes it feels like it's been shorter as well. Yeah.

Alkis [00:11:07]:

But I just fell in love with the art, man. I fell in love with the art. When I cut hair, at the beginning especially, I was thinking about nothing. That was beautiful. It was

Hélène Ioannides [00:11:16]:

so beautiful. Like, in a meditative

Alkis [00:11:18]:

state. Exactly. So, like, obviously, throughout the years in business and expanding and trying to open up in marketing and Employees, and now you gotta pay tax and stuff. Shit. Yeah. You know, your brain starts to wander. So, like, now I'm in the process of bringing me back to my space and, you know, grounding myself while I'm cutting hair and just enjoying the art form rather than, everything else that goes on up here.

Hélène Ioannides [00:11:41]:

Amazing. How did you get your name?

Alkis [00:11:43]:

The bearded butcher. The

Hélène Ioannides [00:11:44]:

bearded butcher. Okay.

Alkis [00:11:51]:

There's There's a couple of stories, how I got the name. I'll tell you the, lesser of the evils.

Hélène Ioannides [00:11:56]:

Okay. So,

Alkis [00:11:57]:

when I started barbering, I used to wear, like, an apron, when I had all the scissors and stuff in it. And for some reason, I used to cut myself, with the scissors or the blade, and there'll be, like, blood all over me. So it'll be like an butcher apron with blood. So And that's came to the butcher.

Hélène Ioannides [00:12:11]:

Yeah.

Alkis [00:12:12]:

So they started calling me that in school when I was in the UK, and, they kinda much stuck. But I like playing with knives.

Hélène Ioannides [00:12:22]:

I can imagine you wearing that cape

Hélène Ioannides [00:12:24]:

from, like, red everywhere.

Alkis [00:12:26]:

Mhmm. Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:12:26]:

So that's really that's a nice story,

Alkis [00:12:28]:

Hence, the beard, the beard of the show.

Hélène Ioannides [00:12:31]:

It's very catchy. Thank you. Yeah. Very catchy.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:12:34]:

I would like to pick your brains because you have seen Many clients throughout your years as a boop as a as a barber.

Alkis [00:12:43]:

As a butcher. As a barber.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:12:46]:

No. And I remember some stories that kind of stuck with me. But okay. If you don't, if you're not gonna say that story, I'm gonna ask you to say it because I think it it's nice to for everyone to know.

Alkis [00:13:03]:

So I've got 2 choices, either to say it or not What's to say it.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:13:06]:

I just say

Alkis [00:13:07]:

1 to

Hélène Ioannides [00:13:07]:

say for you.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:13:08]:

Tell me on your opinion, what were the most Memorable

Hélène Ioannides [00:13:16]:

stories

Alkis [00:13:17]:

as a barber.

Hélène Ioannides [00:13:18]:

From your clients?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:13:19]:

From your clients.

Alkis [00:13:20]:

Most memorable stories from as a barber from my clients.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:13:23]:

Good or bad or the ones that had, let's say

Hélène Ioannides [00:13:26]:

The most impact on you.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:13:27]:

The most impact on you.

Alkis [00:13:32]:

Believe it or not, it's sometimes the people that might only come once, who maybe live in another country or just here on holiday, or they're just passing by. I'm a big believer of everything happens for a reason. I don't believe that person just walked into the shop for no reason. So the conversations that we have, are quite in-depth, but, also, they trip you out a little bit. Okay? Then it's like, you know, because Sometimes when you don't know the person and you know you might never see them again, it it's kind of like you kinda let go, don't you, a little bit? You feel like you're not gonna be judged by someone who doesn't know you. And From

Hélène Ioannides [00:14:15]:

their end or your end?

Alkis [00:14:16]:

Both, I believe. Okay. And I think that what we create as men Is what I'm trying to create is a safe space where you need to open up. And opening up to a stranger makes you realize that we're all the same, and that we all have our problems. And, the end of the day, once speaking about it, it kind of not eliminates it, but allows the other person to be heard. And it sounds differently when you say in your head, and also sounds differently when you say out loud, because then you kind of hear it from another perspective as well. So some most memorable cuts I don't know. There's so many.

Alkis [00:14:53]:

There is a lot. Okay.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:14:54]:

Tell me. Alright. I want you to Tell us the story of this man that used to come for a regular haircut or a beard trim in Harrods We're used to work, and I think he was rude or he was impolite. And the way that you kind of handled the situation, the way you positioned yourself.

Alkis [00:15:22]:

Okay. If I tell you that I have absolutely zero memory of this, would you believe me?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:15:31]:

I possibly have not

Alkis [00:15:32]:

dreamt about it. No. I'd be like, if you just remind me of it bad. Okay. So I think

Hélène Ioannides [00:15:37]:

Tell me the

Alkis [00:15:37]:

story I got.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:15:39]:

In the following way. There was this this guy that came from an affluent background, and whenever he used to come in, He would never say good morning or acknowledge he he was never polite

Alkis [00:15:55]:

Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:15:56]:

To you. And after many treatments, whatever, at some point, you confronted him, And you told him, why don't you say good morning to me? Why don't you say goodbye to me? Why don't you say thank you? And by you pointing that bad behavior out, his behavior started changing.

Hélène Ioannides [00:16:21]:

Is this story true?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:16:23]:

Because you felt, potentially, you felt not seen. You felt not appreciated because you were doing your best to please him. Although you were he was not reciprocating that energy exchange.

Alkis [00:16:35]:

Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:16:36]:

And you communicated what you felt even If that kind would never come back.

Alkis [00:16:42]:

Okay. Do you remember the story? Yeah. This is one this is when I first started, Bob.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:16:46]:

Is is it is it The way that I

Alkis [00:16:48]:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a little bit different. I was a little bit confused. Now for me, it's Like, manners maketh man. Okay? I think it that's the best thing you can have. It's free.

Alkis [00:17:00]:

It's something that's polite. It shows a gentleman class. I also like to feed off the energy of the clients. So sometimes if the client comes in and he doesn't wanna talk, we don't have to talk. If he wants to play on his phone, he can play on his phone. If you want to talk, we can talk, laugh, laugh. So I kind of allow them to have their own space as a reason. I always say to them, it's it's not my time, it's your time.

Alkis [00:17:22]:

You know, you chose to be here. You have an hour. Let's do what you wanna do. This is your time. But sometimes when I think, in general, When you're not acknowledged, not only as a person, but in your craft and in what you do, it hits you. And, sometimes it takes a bit of courage to build up just to say something, which is funny because just say it, like I said before, The longer you keep it, the more it will cause damage. You know? So by me opening up to him, it was because I genuinely felt, like, disrespected. And maybe that was a bit of a complex for me because in my old job, I was a manager.

Alkis [00:18:01]:

I was somebody I was seen as someone special. I had, like, 23 staff under me. I was the youngest manager in the history of Harrods and Hamleys, broken records for sales. And did did that make me a more important person? And now that I'm a barber and I cut hair, who's uneducated, Does that make me a less of a person? No. I I hated it. I despised it. So just because of my profession didn't mean that someone need to look down on me. And that's how I felt that I was just a service.

Alkis [00:18:31]:

I was just a €30. So I think that's why I confronted him. And by me talking to him and I remember this gentleman now. But the how weird is the mind works? I had no recollection of of of that until you just told me.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:18:46]:

Maybe that was important at some point in my life where I felt unappreciated.

Alkis [00:18:53]:

Mhmm. That's the word I don't appreciate.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:18:56]:

When I was working in, the academia, and later on, I realized that, basically, it's a corporate environment, That I should just speak up and that I should just ask for respect and set certain boundaries. And, maybe at that point in my life, I I needed to hear that story.

Hélène Ioannides [00:19:19]:

Today's episode is sponsored By Empowered New You, where we hold women's circles, ice bath and breathwork events, and retreats Across the world, you can find more information on www.doctorstephanos.com and in the description Below, you'll be able to book your events with us as well as subscribe to our email newsletter where you'll be able to find more upcoming events. We hope to see you there.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:19:49]:

And it's amazing how the the ripple effect of when 2 people come together And they discuss the message that they receive and how that message affects their decisions, their life, and their thought process. And and for me, it was a great story that I really enjoyed. And here you now speak, Understand more and more things about yourself because, obviously, you being an exceptional salesman in Harrods, That's kind of whenever you fall, you can always go back to that memory of success That makes you push forward and keep believing in yourself, and Maybe that could link to your exponential the exponential growth that you had over these 2 years that I'm I've been back to Cyprus, and I'm observing you, and I'm admiring you for your tenacity and your persistence and keeping the vision alive and and targeting your goals That you're a very resilient man, and, I would I don't really say that, but I do admire you. And, and because you also give me so much back in a way, not not Not only through the beard trim, I see that you are passionate about what you do. Mhmm. I see that you love people. I see that you

Hélène Ioannides [00:21:22]:

presence

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:21:22]:

you're present.

Hélène Ioannides [00:21:23]:

What you do.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:21:24]:

Yeah. You wanna give back. You live by a certain a certain Moral code Yeah. On which so on certain things we agree or disagree. Yeah.

Alkis [00:21:34]:

For sure.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:21:35]:

But That's you, and and I love you for that because that's.

Alkis [00:21:41]:

You make me blush. I love you too. Nah. I love you, Stefano. Like, I know you know that. I mean, even above my heart, and you know how much you've helped me, and, and your support throughout the years. You know what it is? You're you're a 100% right. I love people.

Alkis [00:21:58]:

I'm very passionate. I'm an emotional person, like I said before. Maybe it's because of certain things that I've been through. Mhmm. And I know the pain and, how much it can set you back That I don't believe I don't think anyone should have to go through that. I think they at some points of their life, you do have to because it makes you the person that you are today. Mhmm. And that is your that's your written plan in life.

Alkis [00:22:28]:

Do you know what I mean? But If I can make just that 1 hour that you're with me better, why would I not? If I could make you smile or turn your day from a really shit day to, like, an okay day, it's not shit. You know what I mean? And, so I I think that it's kind of my responsibility. I take it upon myself to be able to to kinda give that. I love making people laugh. I mean, I've thought about doing stand up so many times in my life

Hélène Ioannides [00:22:57]:

good at it. You would be good.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:22:59]:

So many times in my life. You're a great storyteller. Thanks. You're Great stuff.

Alkis [00:23:03]:

Just because it's the energy that I receive as well. And, you do receive a lot of energy in the barbershop, and sometimes it's very negative. So us as barbers need to try and transition that into something positive. But sometimes, if you're receiving so much negative energy, it's really difficult because it has a toll on you. And then you end up carrying that shit home, and you take it out on the person that you love the most for absolutely no reason or on yourself. And, that's me trying to kind of find a way to release the energy in a positive way.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:23:35]:

So I think that's do you do that?

Alkis [00:23:37]:

Well, you told me a couple of tricks and stuff in our sessions, just breathing, allowing the oxygen to flow to the brain, which allows it to know that it's safe, Focusing on 1 thing, the brain can't focus on more than 2 things at once. So if you just focus on your breathing, that's how it calms us down. Ice baths, hugging the misses, I mean, just just hugging. Endorphins flying all over the place. Just looking in her eyes for about 30 seconds, play with my chihuahua. Mhmm. Whatever it is, I think it's really important to have a release. Whether it's gaming, whether it's playing Tavilee with your dad, whether it's going on walks, I think every person should find their individual release that doesn't hurt you.

Alkis [00:24:20]:

You know what I mean? It doesn't cause you harm. I'm not saying, like, you know, take drugs and start smoking and do this and that. That that's that's a a temporary release in my idea. It's it's the the ability to be able to have that release without using any substances, by using yourself. You know what I mean? That's the most important thing, And I think that's what leads back into what I do for work, because I try and get rid of it and try and start the day in a positive mindset. Yesterday's gone. Forget about it. Let's focus today.

Alkis [00:24:49]:

Don't get me wrong. You have bad days. Mhmm. But, Okay. I'll tell you for example. Right? So every day I wake up, and I look in them, like, it's gonna be a great day. Do you know what I mean? I'm, like, hyping myself up, And I do it every single day, and I saw it off some golfer who started doing that as well. Every day, he was like, you know, it's gonna be a great day.

Alkis [00:25:08]:

Don't forget. Mhmm. And he started off saying it every single day, and I started following it. You know, I took some good advice off this gentleman. And at the beginning, I was like, I was gonna be great there. And then the next, I was like, yeah. It's gonna be a great day today. And I never really, like, believed it.

Alkis [00:25:23]:

And then the more I kept saying it, it's like I was reprogramming my brain. Mhmm. It's like a CPU. It's like a RAM. It's random access memory. So I need to kind of say everything with date. So now wake up. I I just opened my eyes, and I'm, like, in the mirror, It's gonna be a great day.

Alkis [00:25:38]:

I'm just, like, screaming, and I'm like, I genuinely believe it. And, and sometimes, you You know, you you put yourself down, because the other day, I said it's gonna be a great day, and something really bad happened in the morning, like a really awful confrontation confrontation that shouldn't have happened. And I said to myself, you know what? You know what? It's a shit day. I said to myself, it's gonna be a great day, and it's not a great day. Like, fuck this, blah blah blah. And, the day hadn't ended. It was, like, 9 o'clock in the morning. Yeah.

Alkis [00:26:07]:

The day hasn't even started because this one bad thing happened. I was like, you know, f this, f the world. I'm pissed off. Gotta go work 11 hours on my feet. And at the end of the day, something amazing happened. I got offered a really, Really good opportunity for an upcoming event. And I was like, it was a great day. So never be too quick to judge.

Alkis [00:26:29]:

There's so much more that your day is gonna offer that we don't know. Every day really is a gift. So don't be too quick and too hesitant, and just Just don't be too harsh on yourself. That's my best advice. I mean, just take it easy, 1 step at a time, deep breaths. And, yeah, life's confusing, ain't it? It's bad. It is, isn't it? It is. So it's confusing.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:26:54]:

I love the fact that you set the weather for how your day is gonna go. Now hearing you speak

Hélène Ioannides [00:27:01]:

and Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:27:03]:

Hearing you speak, Wait a minute.

Alkis [00:27:06]:

We just Just a minute.

Hélène Ioannides [00:27:07]:

We just I I just

Alkis [00:27:08]:

I wanna tell

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:27:08]:

you what, I pick up the conversation for where we've left off.

Hélène Ioannides [00:27:11]:

Alright.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:27:12]:

So hearing you speak, I love the fact that you set the weather for how your day is gonna go. And what most people might not understand Initially, this saying or the affirmation, it's gonna be a good day, you don't have to fully believe it At the beginning, you can act as if you believe in it or as if it's gonna be a right a good day. And, eventually, you start believing in it, and you start attracting that energy in your life.

Alkis [00:27:46]:

100%. Mhmm. I agree with you. It's, it's just practice, ain't it? The more you do of something, the better you'll get. So if you draw for the 1st day, a face, the 2nd day is gonna get a bit better. 3rd, 4th, 5th, by the next month, year, You'd be really good at drawing faces. So the same thing with kind of programming your brain. The 1st day, you're not gonna really believe it.

Alkis [00:28:07]:

2nd day, you're not gonna believe it. 3rd day, Maybe the 5th week. Now it's been a month you're saying it, and you start to believe it, and you start noticing different things, and you're reprogramming the way you think and the way you feel, the way you handle it. Mhmm. So with anything, it's just practice, you know. And like you told me a long time ago, the brain is is is just like any other muscle. The more you use and more you're training, the better it will get. But you also need to have it to rest.

Alkis [00:28:31]:

So if you if you think of the brain as something a bit more simple, Now I think it's easier for us to understand how it works because no one really knows how it works. So it's your own interpretation for it. So that's what I mean. And and to kind of program your day, as you would say, It takes time to genuinely believe it. Mhmm. You know, you think

Hélène Ioannides [00:28:53]:

And there are days that you even if you don't feel like it. When you do and you do it, you actually just, like, snap back into it. So

Alkis [00:29:04]:

It it's

Hélène Ioannides [00:29:05]:

yeah. To remind yourself that you you are capable of so much more than what you've been taught to believe. What really intrigues me listening to you guys back and forth here is your level of emotional awareness. Was that something that you've always had? Like, you're you're very aware of your own emotions. You are very aware of other people's emotions and where they're at, obviously, with the interactions that you've you've described to us. Was there Something that's happened in your life that's made you really aware of that, or was that has that always been Alki?

Alkis [00:29:50]:

You're making me go back through some files in my memory.

Hélène Ioannides [00:29:52]:

Let's get them out.

Alkis [00:29:55]:

To be honest, I'm not sure. I don't think I have a solid answer for that. Mhmm. I can't really Pinpoint back a time in my life where I'm like, okay. I'm I'm I'm kind of changing my ways and stuff. There are certain big things that happened during my life That made me change and think differently. Like, leaving Cyprus at a very young age Mhmm. Not understanding the choices of my parents, hating them, And then loving them because understanding what they did for me was for the best.

Alkis [00:30:24]:

So I think going through different ranges of emotions And and coming out the other side, is what made me, I think, very aware of emotions. Mhmm. Because when you have more time with yourself.

Hélène Ioannides [00:30:37]:

Yes. Mhmm.

Alkis [00:30:38]:

You understand more. So, for example, when I moved to the UK, I had to walk, like, 40 minutes a day to, like, college and back. Those 40 minutes a day, you're just you in your head.

Hélène Ioannides [00:30:51]:

I used to do the same.

Alkis [00:30:52]:

I mean walking. Yeah. And, during that, you start thinking, you start replaying certain things that happened in your life, your your memories, good things, bad things, how you could have done better if you could have done better, maybe things that you did worse. And I think during those long walks, I developed a different character. I had to definitely mature. Okay. Thank God my brother was there. If he wasn't there, I'd probably be, like, homeless.

Alkis [00:31:20]:

You know, he was Why?

Hélène Ioannides [00:31:20]:

What were you going through at the time?

Alkis [00:31:22]:

So that's, like, first move from the Cyprus to the UK. I wasn't, like, the best you, And some decisions were made for me that weren't in my, in my personal opinion's best interests, even though now we know it's the best thing to happen. I said everything happens for a reason. My brother was studying in Manchester, and, like, my parents just kinda dumped me with him. Now imagine you're you're studying

Hélène Ioannides [00:31:44]:

How old were you?

Alkis [00:31:45]:

I was, like, just turning 17, and he's, like, 5 years old than me. So imagine, like, you're in university, you're chilling, you wanna value your boys. All of a sudden, your 5 year younger brother has just been stopped in the doorstep, and I felt really bad about at the time, I didn't really think about it. But, you know, he's living his life. He's got a student life. He wants to go out, see women, get drunk, whatever he wants to do at the time, study. And, you've just got your little brother in your feet. So then I felt like I didn't really have a brother.

Alkis [00:32:16]:

I felt like I had a parent, a carer, because that was his role bestowed on on me, again, not by him. I mean, he felt like it's his responsibility to make sure I'd go to college, make sure all his responsibility, I'll do good grades, and make sure I do this so he wouldn't hear from my parents. And I just felt like it was very difficult for him to take that on upon himself.

Hélène Ioannides [00:32:39]:

That must have been difficult for both of you.

Alkis [00:32:40]:

Yeah. Both of you. Yeah. I was to argue a lot.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:32:43]:

As a therapist, what I understand over here is that when whenever a person Builds high levels of emotional intelligence or emotional introspection, which is one of the 12 intelligence signs of Gardner because he's he's basically separating intelligence into 12 different pockets. Usually, these type of people come from A family in which their emotions are not so much heard.

Hélène Ioannides [00:33:17]:

Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:33:18]:

And, eventually, They start psychoanalyzing themself and understanding the whys. Am I feeling this is not in my stomach? Why do I feel guilt? Why do I feel shame? And they start interpreting their own internal world. Now this is a message, obviously, for you, but And what we we do know is that whenever an older child sometimes takes responsibility for A sick member of their family, could not say that you were sick, or a a younger sibling, they Put others as priority. And usually, these type of people, I'm not saying that your brother is, But just for the general public that is watching us to understand is that they might be going through a phase of depression Because they're putting the priorities of the other people in on top of theirs.

Alkis [00:34:20]:

Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:34:21]:

And I don't know to what extent that's true, and I'm not asking you to answer this, this this question. But what I would do wanna ask you is because you interact with a lot of men and we you represent the voice of every single man that has passed through your hands at your barbershop. What are the most common stressors that men speak about.

Alkis [00:34:48]:

Usually, it's, it's the standard work. You know what I mean? Stuff like that. Work, life balance, and tired or the misses, it's just stuff that guys talk about, but That's bullshit. Mhmm. That is absolute horseshit. That is just a layer that We, society, aliens, the government, whatever, has created for us to just say so we can vent out things that are just Rosh. Mhmm. I think it goes way deeper than that.

Alkis [00:35:21]:

Mhmm. And the most thing that I think that stresses men It's themselves. It's them not knowing how to handle their emotions. It's them not knowing how to handle certain stress. It's them thinking that they're alone. It's them thinking that they have a certain responsibility and a duty as a man. I went through a really, really bad time in my life when I opened up the shop. I was gonna get married.

Alkis [00:35:47]:

It was the 1st time running a business. I was still not 30 years old. I just invested a shitload of money. I've been working 8 years towards this goal, and then I felt like sometimes when you reach a goal, you just plummet because you're like, now what? I was going through a really, really bad time. And then through this bad time came, like, the voices and the thoughts and the unconscious things and the unwanted stuff and the Overthinking and the stressing, the panic attacks. So when I started opening up to people because as much as I help them, they help me.

Hélène Ioannides [00:36:18]:

Yeah.

Alkis [00:36:19]:

You know? That's the beauty of it. You know? We help each other. As soon as I opened up, they were like, you feel that way as well? And I was like, wow. So what's the thing, man? Well, I was like, oh, I just got free. I was like, yeah, man. And they're like, man, I thought I was the only one. And I was like, man, there's 6 fucking 1000000000 people, 7.3. There's 7,300,000,000 people on this planet, And we're the only ones that are going for it.

Alkis [00:36:46]:

Imagine how deep in thought and how stressed you are to really believe that until you just let it go. Or you think about what happens when you die as well. Doesn't that trip you up sometimes? Do you think about how we have, like, thoughts that pop into our head, and we don't know why? Do you think about, oh my god. I'm gonna be a father soon, and I'm gonna tell you this. Yeah, man. I do, actually. Oh, man. I got and then you just get this Release straight away.

Alkis [00:37:10]:

You know? Oh my god. Why was I holding that in for so long? Why are we not talking about this? And I think that we're scared to talk about it. We're scared to make that initial first step. We don't wanna seem vulnerable. I'm a man. Mhmm. Mhmm. You know what I mean? I'm a responsible.

Alkis [00:37:28]:

I'm a warrior, a Spartan. Yeah, man. And I'm sure these warriors and stuff also had their issues. Everyone does. So I don't think The idea of what a man is is someone that is strong and hides his feelings, I think the idea of a man is the more responsibilities that you have And the way you deal with them, that's makes makes you mad. I think the more responsibilities you have as a person is the more you're organized, And the more you're involved, then the more you're present. That's what I believe makes a man. Yeah.

Alkis [00:37:57]:

Of course, someone that takes care of their family, but you gotta take care of yourself.

Hélène Ioannides [00:38:02]:

Yes.

Alkis [00:38:02]:

You know? If the ship's broken, it ain't gonna carry the cargo. Mhmm. Because, you know what I mean? You need to first fix the ship That's gonna carry all that load on you. And don't get me wrong. It is a good feeling as a man when, you know, you've just you paid for your missus bills. You've taken her out for dinner. You know, you can afford to, like, surprise her on a holiday. I love that shit.

Alkis [00:38:20]:

I'm not gonna lie. I do all the time.

Hélène Ioannides [00:38:21]:

You're such a romantic. Thank you.

Alkis [00:38:24]:

She brings it out of me. But because, again, I love giving. Mhmm. And, I think that's such a nice feeling to to give. I've worked, so I can give. So I mean, it's because it's not only for them. It's also for me. It's kind of a selfish thing, but sometimes you need to be a bit selfish.

Alkis [00:38:43]:

Because they're like, oh, you do so many things for others by yourself. I'm like, by doing things for others, it makes me feel good, that's also for me because I'm also going holiday. Like, I'm also eating the steak. No. I'm paying for it. Do you know what I mean? So, It's for yourself as well, but you're also allowing someone else to experience that joy. And the fact that you're being able to give it to them is is much better. So I think the biggest thing that causes stress to men is their inability to deal with it, their inability to talk about it, The inability to find a safe space where they can talk about it.

Alkis [00:39:20]:

Mhmm. Mhmm. And, you'd be surprised how quickly the conversation changes.

Hélène Ioannides [00:39:25]:

Do you notice, like, a shift when they're talking about

Alkis [00:39:28]:

Yeah.

Hélène Ioannides [00:39:28]:

All this

Alkis [00:39:29]:

I definitely notice superficial

Hélène Ioannides [00:39:30]:

stuff and then they suddenly

Alkis [00:39:31]:

Yeah. There's certain peep There's certain guys that I've met who cannot talk about this stuff. They are so

Hélène Ioannides [00:39:40]:

locked,

Alkis [00:39:40]:

so locked up That as soon as you mentioned anything of a spiritual realm, anything psychological, anything that they know they need to deal with but they don't want to, they shut down. Yeah. I said, stop this rubbish. Talk about something else. And I'm like, yo. Talk, man. Open up. Don't be afraid.

Alkis [00:40:01]:

Like, you forget about it in a couple of days, but your brain would have processed it, and you'll you'll grow from it. It's not gonna ruin your life if you just, you know, speak about things that bother you. Conversation about it.

Hélène Ioannides [00:40:14]:

It doesn't mean yeah.

Alkis [00:40:16]:

Some things are intense. I mean, that's life, though. You are gonna be Putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. But that's how you deal with that situation. Because then the worst thing that happens is if you die. That's the worst thing that can happen. Right? So if you don't die, then that's not the worst thing that could possibly happen. That's how I think about it.

Alkis [00:40:34]:

So it's, again, by putting yourself out there. And like you said, it is a responsibility because, you you know, they're gonna go through us. I'm not I've had people tell me that they're suicidal. Wow. I've had people telling me thoughts about killing themselves. I've had men talk to me about, thinking they don't deserve happiness. I've had men talk to me about, I don't understand what the point of anything is.

Hélène Ioannides [00:40:58]:

That's so much weight to carry on your own shoulders.

Alkis [00:41:01]:

And then At my point, when I'm hearing this stuff while cutting hair, I'm putting myself in a certain position where I'm like, okay. You've got responsibility right now. This is this is what you do. This is what you live for. This is what you're working towards, being able to offer this help. And maybe, again, that comes from helping people in my emotional background, but, it's difficult. It's very difficult because You don't wanna say anything stupid. You don't wanna tick them off.

Alkis [00:41:31]:

If you're on a bad mood and say, like, you know, yeah. You know what? Fuck this shit. Life's shit. You know, I've had a shit day as well, and this guy's like, yeah. Life's shit. And then you just continue this negative flow, and then you don't know what that'll lead to. Do you know what I mean? I don't know. Them as well.

Alkis [00:41:45]:

Like, where Especially for them from where from where they're sitting. So at

Hélène Ioannides [00:41:48]:

on that day. And

Alkis [00:41:50]:

So, By me doing things that makes me more emotionally connected and stronger, I think that's what allows me to help others. So, like, you know, I'm telling you, man, take a ice cold shower, man. What? Yeah. Get in the ice. What's that gonna do? I said it's gonna do this, this, and that. It won't Brown fat cells, it releases endorphins. Releases 2.5 times dopamine more than cocaine, chocolate, sex, And it's a gradual process. Try going for a run.

Alkis [00:42:18]:

Talk to someone. I'm I'm just trying to give them simple advices that have been passed down to me. Mhmm. No. I didn't come up with this stuff. I've heard it from Stephanos. I've heard it from, YouTube viewers. I heard it from parents, from other people.

Alkis [00:42:30]:

And, again, it's just about passing on that information. So I think that's just my responsibility. I don't think it's my responsibility to solve their issues. I think you have to fight your own demons because they're there for a reason. Right? Mhmm. But I think what psychologists do and and friends and family is Give you the tools that you need. Now I'm a give you the shield and the sword, but you're gonna fight a dragon. I'm gonna fight it for you.

Alkis [00:42:57]:

Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:42:58]:

I'm

Alkis [00:42:58]:

a sit there and give you tips. Crouch roll, x x.

Alkis [00:43:02]:

You know? What? You know what I mean? But, I mean, I think that's just what I need to do, and and I also need to not Be too involved, if that makes sense. Yes.

Hélène Ioannides [00:43:12]:

You know? That must be really difficult for you.

Alkis [00:43:14]:

Not to be too involved.

Hélène Ioannides [00:43:15]:

Because you genuinely care, And perhaps you've also been through what they've been through. So listening to their story, while you are trying to keep a professional stance, That must be it's like you're playing 2 roles.

Alkis [00:43:32]:

Like, I've cried sometimes while I'm I'm kinda hacked. I mean, with certain people and, Just a a random thing. One of the best days in my shop so far was when there was, like, 6 guys in the shop. Everyone was cutting hair, and every single person was singing to dancing queen by ABBA. Abba came on dancing, Queen. It was, you are a dancing queen, young and free. We were just like, Yeah. I know I know it sounds funny because I've had some really good days, but that moment has just stuck with me.

Alkis [00:44:06]:

Wow. And I'm like, imagine how comfortable these men feel.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:44:10]:

You know what

Alkis [00:44:10]:

I mean? In a safe space so we can all sing dancing queen by ABBA. Jesus Christ. Like, what a joke. Well, it it was

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:44:18]:

like a mini circle.

Hélène Ioannides [00:44:19]:

You know

Alkis [00:44:19]:

what I mean?

Hélène Ioannides [00:44:19]:

It was just so gonna say a dance.

Alkis [00:44:21]:

It was just so free. And, I was like I just looked around, And I'm like, this is wicked.

Hélène Ioannides [00:44:27]:

This is why I do what I do. This is why I do what I do.

Alkis [00:44:30]:

Life, man. This is this is us having a good time, not taking things too seriously, letting go. If that could be like that always, but, of course, certain scenarios, we have to act in a certain way. But yeah. So anyway, to go back on it, Not to be too emotionally attached and not to be too deep because I know that you have to do it for yourself. Mhmm. If you don't do it for yourself, you never will. If you don't wake up and, like, I'm gonna do this, like Mhmm.

Alkis [00:44:56]:

Not for Mickey, not for my mom, not for my dad, but for me. Mhmm. And I think that you gotta go through that. It sucks. I don't know why you have to hit rock bottom in order to make you realize that, which is terrible because, like, I don't know how many times I said to myself before I hit report on that I'm gonna do this, this, and that. And I fucking plummeted face first into this brick. And I was like, oh, man. I'm in the hole.

Hélène Ioannides [00:45:23]:

Have you got a story for that? For us?

Alkis [00:45:30]:

Yeah. I think I've ever spoken about this, obviously, to this man and many people. But I fell into a very, very, very, very dark depression, about I thought I knew what depression was. Boy, was I wrong? Boy, was I wrong? I thought I was gonna die. I thought I was gonna die. I thought that it was the end. I wouldn't know how to hunt. Yeah.

Alkis [00:46:02]:

I think it was very, very scary, and, I didn't know how to handle myself or what I would do, or the decision I was making. I felt like I wasn't in control, and that was the scariest thing. I've not really been in control. And, I was like, I go act I go act fast.

Hélène Ioannides [00:46:20]:

Mhmm.

Alkis [00:46:21]:

And that that voice inside of me was like, Get your fucking ass in gear right now. Otherwise, you've lost it. That's what I

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:46:33]:

Hi, guys. Thank you for watching. I'm doctor Stefano Siano, and I'm a psychophysiologist. I specialize on stress and anxiety and also on communication issues between couples. So for those of you that might be facing this type of problems, I provide the link for you below to book your 1 to 1 session with me. See you there.

Alkis [00:46:55]:

And I was like, I'm gonna do everything I need to do to get better because this isn't me. This isn't who I am. This isn't a man. This isn't a person who's gonna run a shop. This isn't a person who's gonna be a father. Isn't gonna be a person who's gonna take care of others. This ain't gonna be a person who's gonna take care of myself. So what do I do? I did everything.

Alkis [00:47:17]:

I did everything. At first, I was like, listen, I need help. That's the first thing I said is I need help. That was the hardest thing, I think, accepting the fact that you're gonna need help. Everything I think everyone wants to do things on their own. Yeah. And we think we're strong enough, but It's stronger to ask for help. You know what I mean? That that's that first step.

Alkis [00:47:37]:

So when I did, I reached out to Stefano. I called him up. And I was like, yo, man. I'm feeling like this, this, and this. I I don't know. I I feel there's something wrong with me, blah blah. He's like, listen, man. You know, this is Alki This is Elki who's, you know, left home at a young age.

Alkis [00:47:52]:

She's been through so many things. She's lived on this. She's done that. You know, this is just another path that you're gonna have to take. And I was like, okay. And then it got worse before it got better, a lot worse. So what did I do? I quit smoking. So it's been, like, nearly a year now I haven't touched a cigarette.

Alkis [00:48:11]:

I quit taking coffee, to begin with. I quit all sugars. I started exercising. I was a 120 KG, at the time, and I just needed to put myself in a healthier path. And, I was willing to do anything. If I had to take pills antidepressants, I would've taken. If I had to go see a psychologist, I wanna see him. If I had to run, I'd run.

Alkis [00:48:33]:

I had to eat clean, I'd eat clean. If I had to stop doing that, I did everything because I knew that I was gonna be alright. That was their voice was still there, telling me that it's gonna be okay. And that's because of everything else I've been through. That's because of my amazing parents. That's because of my My hero of a brother, that's because of my wife. That's that voice, you know, but that carries it, into a very a very strong position.

Alkis [00:49:01]:

Do you know what I mean?

Hélène Ioannides [00:49:03]:

Did you reach out to the people around. Yeah.

Alkis [00:49:04]:

I did. Yeah. Yeah.

Hélène Ioannides [00:49:05]:

We we you were

Alkis [00:49:06]:

I I suppose everyone.

Hélène Ioannides [00:49:08]:

Wow.

Alkis [00:49:08]:

That's great. Everyone. They were like, how are you feeling? I'm like, no. I'm not doing it too well. Mhmm. And they're like, what? I was like, yeah, man. Blah blah blah blah. And then I'd hear their opinion, and I'd hear other opinions.

Alkis [00:49:19]:

And then I'd kinda put things together And, you know, certain exercises that we did together as well really helped. And, You know, like, I I think certain generations don't know how to handle this stuff.

Hélène Ioannides [00:49:32]:

Yes.

Alkis [00:49:32]:

I think it's very new, because Of what we're going through and the stimulus that we receive and the way we've grown up and the media and the social backgrounds and, you know, what we perceive to be right or wrong, You know? You want an answer. You find it straight away. So when you don't find the answer straight away, that's when you're like, hold on. Google can't help me right now. You know what I mean? Chat gbt can't help me right now. Fucking, you know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? Solve that, you fucking AI. I hate that shit. That's another story.

Alkis [00:50:06]:

So I even, like, downloaded this app that's supposed to help you. And, I developed something called harm OCD, which is, the worst thing that I've ever gone through my life, and I'm still going through it, by the way. I've just found a way of dealing with it. And, when I went on this application that's supposed to help you, And I I wrote down, like, I've got thoughts about killing myself. I've got thoughts about harming the person that I love the most. And it was like, SOS, like, Call this number now, blah blah blah. And I was like, holy shit. You know what I mean? I I was trying to use, like, technology To help you.

Alkis [00:50:42]:

Help me because that was the app that was pro like, recommended to me. Mhmm. And it didn't know how to answer. And instead, it just went into, like, a fucking SOS mode. And it was like, if you're having these swords, please call this number right now. Blah blah blah. And I was like, oh, shit. I'm fucked.

Alkis [00:50:58]:

Like, I'm proper fucked. The robot just told me I need to go to fucking helpline. And when you're in that current state of mind, that was

Hélène Ioannides [00:51:04]:

That's not what you wanna hear.

Alkis [00:51:04]:

I thought you wanna hear. You wanna hear. It's gonna be alright. Mhmm. You got this. It's gonna feel like shit. Deal with it. Take your time.

Alkis [00:51:12]:

How are we gonna deal with it? Together by doing this. Mhmm. So seek help from people. That's the only advice I

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:51:19]:

You're the 1st step. Right?

Alkis [00:51:20]:

The 1st step. Seek seek help from people. And then, obviously, love. I mean, I I know it sounds corny and cringey. Call it what you want. I don't care, but love is the most powerful thing in the world. It is gorgeous. Oh, it makes you feel warm.

Alkis [00:51:37]:

Yeah. I mean, it gives me hope. It filled me up with butterflies, And, you know, that comes from your your spouse, your missus, your your better half. And, you know, she Oh, she's an angel. I don't know how she stuck with me through that shit, the things I was telling her, and it was based on her. The the thoughts were based on her, and she just stuck by me. She didn't run away. She didn't move.

Alkis [00:52:16]:

See if she's there.

Hélène Ioannides [00:52:17]:

The strength in her,

Alkis [00:52:21]:

She was just there. She's always been, And, you know, she's a safe space. And it's it's really difficult because when you're having these thoughts about the person that you love the most, and they're the ones that are actually helping you. It's such a counterbalance. It's such a mind fuck. But it just shows how more powerful The love is that can Yeah. Overthrow, and take over these dark thoughts. And that's what I think people don't realize, that No one really knows what anyone's going through.

Alkis [00:52:55]:

No. Who are you to make someone else have a bad day? Who are you to bring someone else down? You don't know what they're going through. I mean, stick to yourself. Make sure you and your family happy, and forget about everything else. It's not your it it had nothing to do with you. Then I asked for help, and you don't seek for help. You don't make someone else feel inferior. You don't put someone else down.

Alkis [00:53:19]:

Yeah. And then and don't seek help from broken people. Do you know what I mean? And, so so that that that's that's why I've been going through the last time.

Hélène Ioannides [00:53:32]:

Just a little recap.

Alkis [00:53:33]:

What I've been going

Hélène Ioannides [00:53:33]:

through the last year. Share your vulnerability. You sitting here is admirable. Nice. And To just, yeah, to just be here and to be you fully and to own up to everything that you're going through It's giving so many people the courage to keep going. So thank you. Thank you.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:53:58]:

Thank you for being you. Thank you

Alkis [00:54:00]:

for allowing me to express myself and be here. And, again, this is why we do what we do. Right? So someone else might hear this and think I'm going through the same thing.

Hélène Ioannides [00:54:10]:

Yeah. Well, big shout out to your your other half. I mean, you know, that's solid. That's solid. Like, that's that's Power.

Alkis [00:54:19]:

Yeah. She's, she's everywhere. I've got her eyes tied on me. I've got m on my finger for the wedding wedding finger. I got a birthday tied on me. She's she's everywhere with me all the time anyway, even when she's not here. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, like, this all happened from stress.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:54:37]:

It started from stress.

Alkis [00:54:39]:

Yeah. This harm, mercy, d, the way I feel, everything happened from stress, And that happened from not knowing how to fucking deal with it. That happened from being blind to it, by not being taught. Why are you not teaching this in school? Were you suppressing

Hélène Ioannides [00:54:53]:

a lot of stuff? I was

Alkis [00:54:54]:

suppressing so much. I was suppressing stuff with, alcohol. I was suppressing stuff by eating takeaways every night. I was suppressing stuff by smoking, by drinking, by weed, by anything else I can put in me That would just push down all this shit, and I became a beast.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:55:13]:

I wanna tell you that I love you From the bottom of my heart. Love you too. And and thank you for opening up. And it was heartbreaking for me to to see you go through what you were going through. And at that point, I received the following message. You need to do your best to help this man Because he's in the front line of any other man that is gonna suffer or is suffering. So you better do your best and give your best self Yes, sir.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:55:58]:

To make you feel better. Because it is not just you have access to so many men. And if you're not in the right mind frame, you could affect so many different lives. And thank you for being a warrior. Thank you for being a brother. Thank you for being a lover, and thank you also for being a king.

Alkis [00:56:25]:

I mean nah. Thank you. And like I said, thank you so much for having me, on the show. I will not stop. I will never give up. This is my calling. This is why being a barber is more than just cutting hair, and this is why I have so much passion about it, and, what goes behind the scenes. And, funny enough, I'm very happy I went through what I went through, believe it or not.

Alkis [00:56:54]:

Looking back now, I would say definitely not. Going back, sorry, at that time, I would be like, are you mad? If I had the choice of not going through this right now, I would never go for it. But now I'm like, I'm glad I did. I think the ability of dealing with stress is a superpower. Yeah. It is. That's Superman right there, because stress made me lose 20 KG. Stress made me open up my business.

Alkis [00:57:22]:

Stress made me stop smoking, but it's the ability of knowing how to deal with that stress. There's good stress and bad stress. So I think that is just it's just basic knowledge. So if there was more knowledge out there Yes. On how to deal with it, Then, obviously, a lot of people wouldn't have to go through it that bad. That's all I'm gonna say. So, yeah, just Help yourselves to help others.

Hélène Ioannides [00:57:47]:

Thank you so much, asking me.

Alkis [00:57:48]:

Very much.

Hélène Ioannides [00:57:49]:

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being here. It's been an absolute Pleasure.

Alkis [00:57:53]:

It's been good. Right? It's been enjoyable. Really good. Loving the set up, loving you guys. You guys do a lot of cool stuff. Just if I can quickly say a couple of words, is that cool? A lot of people might not realize what you're doing. A lot of people might not understand what you're doing. A lot of people might interpret it in a bad way, but that, by no means, counterbalances how much good you guys do.

Alkis [00:58:17]:

So for every bad person who thinks it's just a joke or it's just another way of getting attention or just, Those people, are the ones that need help the most. That's how I see it. And the amount of help that you guys do to others and the feedback that you get, I'm sure Makes it worth your while, so don't read the comments. That's my my, advice, because you know what you're doing. Yeah. And as long as you get women and men coming back and thanking you, then even if you've helped 1 person but pissed off a 100, You've helped someone because they're pissed off by themselves. Mhmm. So it's about helping people.

Alkis [00:58:58]:

So don't be afraid to, like, be yourselves and put yourselves out there. I love that you always try, and I love that you always find the light in people even when they can't see it themselves. You're amazing person, Stefano, and I'd love you so much, and thanks for helping me. And, I definitely Wouldn't be where I am right now if it wasn't for you. I'll eventually get there because I'm amazing, but you helped me get there so much faster and so much better and so much healthier. So what you do is really strong, very difficult, and very demanding. I'm sure it has an effect on your personal life, but that's why you have a goddess next to you, and you guys work together. Right? So, you have an amazing family.

Alkis [00:59:43]:

You have kids. Amazing home. Grow in it, learn, live life, and, because we're all gonna end up in the same place.

Hélène Ioannides [00:59:51]:

Yeah. We are.

Alkis [00:59:52]:

You know what I mean? So you never know what's gonna happen. But one thing's for sure is that it will end. So let that drive you. That's all I gotta say. And, thanks for being you, and, shout out everyone watching. And thanks to the backstage.

Hélène Ioannides [01:00:11]:

Thank you.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [01:00:11]:

Thank you, Thank you so much for your beautiful words. So for those of you that have liked this episode, do not forget to subscribe to our channel, And we cannot wait to see you in our next episode. Thank you.

Hélène Ioannides [01:00:25]:

Thank you. Much love. Peace. Thank you so much for watching this episode. It's been an absolute pleasure filming it for you guys. If you like the work that we are putting out into the world, Please make sure you like this video, and you subscribe to our channel. It really helps the work that we do.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [01:00:42]:

And if you would like to follow our journey On our IG accounts as well as learn more about our services, we provide everything for you in the description below. Thanks for watching.