How to Thrive Amid Criticism and Failure with Giannos Tran From Netcast Zone | EP 15

Is Our Perspective on Success Fundamentally Flawed?

Our guest, Giannos Tran, a visionary storyteller, joins us to dissect what some consider a male-oriented definition of success. We question whether success is a destination or a mirage shaped by societal perceptions.

Success is a chameleon, changing colors from person to person. For some, it's about the journey, the process, and the love and pain that come with it. For others, it's a race against oneself, a quest for something greater. 

But what lies beyond the finish line?

In a world where online haters are as common as hashtags, Dr. Stephanos steps in to discuss the courage it takes to stand by your opinions in the digital arena. Does our understanding of success influence our response to the critics?

Chapters:
08:55 - Post-Achievement Sadness
15:27 - Visionaries Who Transform The World
21:15 - Balancing Ego, Teamwork, and Self-Care
24:07 - Leading with Humility
29:20 - Lessons from a Grandmother's Love
38:32 - Why Context Matters in Conversations
42:09 - The Courage to Speak
44:15 - Harnessing Failures 
47:26  - Family Ties Teach More Than Business Struggles
53:39 - Respecting Team Boundaries

We'll explore how Giannos prioritizes the hurdles in personal relationships over business lessons and why working on our mistakes and lowering our ego can lead to more meaningful connections with our loved ones.

So, are you ready to redefine success, manage your ego, and embrace the full spectrum of life's experiences? 

Join us on this enlightening journey, and let's challenge the status quo together. And remember, it's not just about accepting the negative comments—it's about allowing them to coexist with your path to greatness.

Press play, and let's find out if we've been looking at success through the wrong lens all along.

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Transcript

Hélène Ioannides [00:00:00]:

Welcome to Health Pod, your self development hub

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:00:03]:

on mental health, psychology, and spirituality. What defines success?

Giannos Tran  [00:00:08]:

Success is a very, controversial work.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:00:10]:

You need to embrace pain and love and and success because it's on the same spectrum.

Giannos Tran  [00:00:17]:

Success is an endpoint of, an aggressive competition.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:00:22]:

We measure success on an action based scale.

Hélène Ioannides [00:00:27]:

Male.

Giannos Tran  [00:00:27]:

We are born with a big ego.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:00:30]:

Mhmm. We need the external sources

Hélène Ioannides [00:00:33]:

To validate us.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:00:34]:

To validate us.

Hélène Ioannides [00:00:36]:

As long as we're in these human bodies, we would always have the ego as part of ourselves.

Giannos Tran  [00:00:41]:

Controlling your ego, it's controlling your feelings. And training to control your feelings helps you balance your ego.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:00:53]:

The only person that you need to compete is with the person that you were yesterday. Yourself. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode here on HealthPort. I'm here today with Janus Tranz, a marketeer. And for those of you that have seen this public figure before, he's one of the major host on Netcast Zone podcast. Today, we'll be speaking about success and the weight of our ego. Let's tune in in today's episode.

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:30]:

So tell us.

Giannos Tran  [00:01:31]:

Who is Johnny? Okay. Sometimes when I think of myself, what am I, what I do, I think at the moment, I would say I'm a content creator, and and I can help business businesses grow their brand online through content. So you can say I'm a marketing guy.

Hélène Ioannides [00:01:53]:

How did the podcast come about? Because I know you do a podcast, which we came on. So how does that interlink? Because that's more recent.

Giannos Tran  [00:02:00]:

Yeah. We started in 2019. The evolution of our of our channel started by having discussions and then uploading them online. Mhmm. I guess we were the pioneers of, podcasting in Cyprus. And through the years, we managed to bring other people to the content they love because what we saw is that we couldn't grow our channel through only. Like we said at the beginning, Cyprus is a very small market. So if you wanna grow, you need to reach to the, to the masses, to a wider audience.

Giannos Tran  [00:02:46]:

So we we brought in more people. We created series. We expanded our genres, aside sports. So we reached up to a point in 2023 where we have a a huge community, and the algorithms love us. That's why when we upload a video, it gets a lot of views and stuff, but at the end of the day, content matters.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:03:13]:

Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:03:13]:

And here we are today looking forward to another milestone, of becoming a channel that doesn't do just podcast.

Hélène Ioannides [00:03:26]:

Mhmm. What's the vision?

Giannos Tran  [00:03:27]:

Documentaries.

Hélène Ioannides [00:03:28]:

Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:03:29]:

Serious maybe, but at at the end of the day, it's all about budgeting.

Hélène Ioannides [00:03:34]:

You've recently been abroad as well.

Giannos Tran  [00:03:36]:

Yeah, we've we we've traveled with, Luis Bartolome's team, went to Canada. Okay. Actually, we went to Montreal, Quebec.

Hélène Ioannides [00:03:45]:

Louie is one of our comedians over here.

Giannos Tran  [00:03:48]:

So He's number 1 Yeah. I would say. And I've asked him, how does it sound going together in Canada and do a documentary for the Greek and the Cypriot community in Montreal and then plug you're showing Toronto, and he was quite excited. And at the same time, when He left from Canada. We went to New York to do another 7 stories of Cypriots that live abroad and pursue their dream. Our goal was to showcase to our fellow Cypriots here in our small beautiful island that there are Cypriots who live abroad in very harsh and competitive environments. Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:04:45]:

And they manage to succeed. So, here's a point where you can reference and get inspiration, and try to achieve something on your own. And like in an ecosphere when you like, a project, a lot of stories of inspiration and success of people you have a connection with.

Hélène Ioannides [00:05:09]:

Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:05:11]:

Cypriots. Yep. We believe that it will help make our, society and country better.

Hélène Ioannides [00:05:20]:

Yeah. More open minded, to to be able to learn more and Grow and listen to these stories. My question is, how did you pick these people? You say success, what defines success?

Giannos Tran  [00:05:31]:

Yeah. That's a good question, actually. Okay, success is a very, controversial word. Mhmm. I mean, what does success mean? So I came to the conclusion of the following. Success is what others believe of you and perceive us success. For you, there's not such a word as success because it's an infinite game. Mhmm. So success is a it's a a point in time where you are awarded with something. I don't know. Money

Hélène Ioannides [00:06:10]:

Fame.

Giannos Tran  [00:06:11]:

Recognition. Recognition. Even I don't know. An Oscar or an Emmy, whatever, but it's a point in time, a specific point in time that ends has an ending. What about the day after, your, I don't know, your

Hélène Ioannides [00:06:30]:

A singing competition that you want to do. Yeah. You've won. Okay.

Giannos Tran  [00:06:33]:

Are you still successful? So for me, success, it's a vague, an uncatchable destination. And I'll quote the words of, an actor, McConaughey. I'm not pronouncing his name.

Hélène Ioannides [00:06:51]:

Matthew McConaughey.

Giannos Tran  [00:06:52]:

Matthew McConaughey. And he said once in, was it an Oscar? I don't know. Mhmm. I don't remember where he said that he was chasing a man and that man was always 10 years ahead.

Hélène Ioannides [00:07:07]:

Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:07:07]:

And then he came to a point where he realized that the man he was chasing was him in 10 years. So for me success is something that it's a projection to others. For you, success, it's an ongoing game where you try to be happy, to feel like you are where you wanna be. It's a process of keep evolving because there's an end.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:07:42]:

Mhmm. I

Giannos Tran  [00:07:42]:

mean, one day we all gonna pass away. So what does that mean? So

Hélène Ioannides [00:07:50]:

How much have we enjoyed the process?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:07:52]:

So the thing is that when it comes to success, the way at least I perceive it, which is the constellation of also other philosophers or think tanks within the domain of success because, as you said, is is a never ending game. Or, Matthew McConaughey was basically, trying to run after his future self. Success is a matter of enjoying the process. What and while you are In this process

Giannos Tran  [00:08:29]:

Doing the stuff you love.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:08:31]:

Doing the stuff you love, and you need to embrace pain and love And and success because it's on the same spectrum. So it's as human as we're talking about the spectrum of love, you have pain and you also have, success. So you need to enjoy this process to feel content. And the only person that you need to compete is with the person that you weighed yesterday.

Giannos Tran  [00:08:54]:

Yourself.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:08:55]:

And, what we see in many people, is that as soon as they reach their goal, they collapse. They're like, okay. What's next? What am I gonna do next? And in in a way, we should aim to reach a goal, but also Think, okay. What am I gonna do next so that you keep going? Because if you don't have dopamine being secreted in your in your bloodstream, in your brain, then The moment that you reach your goal, you then fall into depression because you don't have a reason to strive for something bigger than you.

Giannos Tran  [00:09:29]:

So I have a quote on that. Actually, it's not mine. Feel like a winner, act like a loser. So Feel like a winner. Act like a loser.

Hélène Ioannides [00:09:42]:

Act like a loser.

Giannos Tran  [00:09:43]:

Yeah. Because it it keeps you humble enough to try to become better. Rewards. And, but at the same time, there's still the day after tomorrow where you need to keep going and doing new stuff that will keep your dopamine levels at a high, you know, point up until you set up for the sunset and you escape from the world. My goal is to reach up to a point where I will be financially okay just to survive with the means of today and then discover, my inner self through, I don't know, book reading, traveling, food testing with my wife because we need to be humble enough to understand that we as entities have a beginning and we have an end. Mhmm. At least a process where we can, like, understand and and and can describe. So, biologically, you you will come up to a point where you cannot due stuff that you need when you have the power and the energy.

Giannos Tran  [00:11:28]:

So when you are like, when you when you reach up to a point where you you understand that your physical attributes cannot help you, then you need to turn to your inner, mental, spiritual, power.

Hélène Ioannides [00:11:47]:

Don't you think that's a process though throughout life, Not just at a specific point in life?

Giannos Tran  [00:11:51]:

Yeah. And associate that with wisdom. You need to be aware of that in order for you to start thinking like that.

Hélène Ioannides [00:11:59]:

Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:12:00]:

But coming in in in 2023, 24, and to

Giannos Tran  [00:12:07]:

conclude success, I'll I'll ask a question. Name me a successful person, you know. Mhmm. You're gonna say Steve Jobs. Right? You're gonna say Ronaldo. You you you're gonna say Messi. You're gonna say, Bill Gates, Conor McGregor, Marcus Poggdades, Milan Dragowitz. But the set of rules you place in your, critical thinking into pointing out the successful people are are certain.

Giannos Tran  [00:12:41]:

Fame Mhmm. Money Mhmm. Gold medal.

Hélène Ioannides [00:12:46]:

Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:12:47]:

There's not a single person that will name a successful miss Marula. Nobody knows miss Marula. You're not gonna name mister Georgios who owns a a butcher shop successful because you don't know that he's successful. You say that he's happy. And most of the times I hear the debate successful successful success means happiness. And I disagree because success, it's it's a it's, it's a word that, as I said at the beginning, it's a projection to others Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:13:20]:

And what you believe is success. So for you success is happiness, but you are the only one who will reward yourself. And for the others, it's the things we said. Fame Mhmm. Money, recognition.

Hélène Ioannides [00:13:34]:

Which is a lot of what society has taught us to believe. What success is?

Giannos Tran  [00:13:41]:

Yeah. But it kinda makes sense because success is an endpoint of, an aggressive competition, whatever that is business, sports. But why can we say I'm a successful father? Yes. You cannot measure it. There's not a a scale of, successful fatherhood. You cannot say I'm a successful wife. How are you gonna measure that? So for me, success is just a metric for other people, and for our self, success is, it's vague. It doesn't exist.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:14:29]:

It's, it's amazing that what you just said right now made me think that we measure success on an action based scale.

Hélène Ioannides [00:14:41]:

Yeah. Yeah. Very male.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:14:42]:

Very it's a it's a very male orientated definition of what we define as success because From one point of view, a man becomes a man through the things that he accomplishes, like

Giannos Tran  [00:14:58]:

The A man as a human or a

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:15:00]:

A man a man as a human. And I'm A male. A male. And I'm gonna make a reference based on Greek mythology like Hercules, what he has managed to accomplish. Achilles. But we know these 2, let's say, but there were also other great warriors like Ajax or anyone else. Now all these people have passed into history, like modern history. We have SpaceX.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:15:27]:

We have, Paz Datis, different different people. Because they had the vision And they believed in that vision of their highest self, and they acted upon it on this with discipline. If you would tell, like, 10 years ago that I would see rockets landing vertically, I would I would tell you this is is is impossible. But, obviously, a man has conceived that, and he has managed to achieve it. We define success, and it's a very male orientated definition. Now if you tell me though, in in terms of Greek mythology, even women that are successful, They're action based. They're in their masculine Yeah. Role.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:16:14]:

Yeah? Which is A woman can come with many gifts, which most of us we we we are unable to conceive we're uneducated. From where can I start? Like, from the fact that They're successful just by bringing us to life.

Giannos Tran  [00:16:37]:

They're successful. Success. Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:16:40]:

They're successful by guiding a man to spiritual enlightenment. Because if you see all of these heroes in mythology, When they were needing guidance and protection, where were they referring to? To the feminine? To the female? Like, If you if you have a good relationship with your partner, there are a lot of points in which the 1st person that believed in you and told you, you know what? Everything is gonna be okay. Take this, I don't know, armor, herb, helmet, and it's gonna protect you from evil. It's like this belief that women bestowed upon men to find the courage to come into their highest self, To be providers, to be protectors. But we usually neglect that when it comes to success. And, it's a it's a very good point to maybe touch upon on on future episodes because Well, the way we define success is very male orientated. Now I would like to bring And it's very capitalist. Yeah.

Giannos Tran  [00:17:45]:

It's very capitalist. Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:17:47]:

Yeah. Yeah.

Giannos Tran  [00:17:48]:

It's a metric. It's a reward system. That's why you never see successful people like, miss Marula, our neighbor.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:18:00]:

Mhmm. Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:18:01]:

Mister Georgos Mhmm. Our neighbor. Yeah. Because you don't have something to measure the success. They're invisible. So you should

Hélène Ioannides [00:18:11]:

Maybe we need to Change the way that we look at things. Or

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:18:14]:

You know, what you said I'm sorry, Helene, for interrupting. So what you said right now, So you are a butcher, let's say. Right? He had a vision. Maybe his dad was a butcher and he was, at the slaughterhouse, and he had a vision. I'm gonna Have my butcher shop in my neighborhood, and people are gonna love me, and I'm gonna bring the best meat. So this guy had a vision. He acted upon the vision. He believed on it.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:18:40]:

He's successful, in my opinion. Like, you are successful for me because you have a very successful podcast, and you started in 2019, which we didn't really know about what

Giannos Tran  [00:18:49]:

But you're measuring success based on numbers.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:18:53]:

I'm measuring success myself, Stefanos, based on the vision that a man or a woman has for themselves enacting upon that vision. And it's easier said than done because acting upon a vision In modern day society that you have so many distractions, drugs, alcohol, smoking, porn, friends, Anything that distracts you from your vision, you will not be successful if you don't take discipline of yourself. Yeah. And coming back on what we were speaking about success in Greek mythology, like, does anyone know of the name Of the guy that build the Trojan horse. No one. But it is mentioned, but none of us remembers it. But if it wasn't for that guy, if it wasn't, let's say, for our butcher, for our carpenter, for our barber To act upon an idea is like you. You brought people in in your podcast.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:19:56]:

Right? You said that. I want to reach out to the community. So we're a small market. So you brought people in. You recognize certain skills, and you understood that it's not a 1 man show. It's not my ego. I'm not gonna do everything my own. I need my allies.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:20:15]:

So you brought people in.

Hélène Ioannides [00:20:17]:

That's a really interesting topic. The ego that we can talk about. Yeah. I think it takes a it takes a lot to Understand who you are as a person in order to be able to give the floor over and the space to other people To bring their own experiences in.

Giannos Tran  [00:20:34]:

We are born with a big ego. Mhmm. And it's okay to to have people think of themselves and, work on their own interests. So I believe that if you practically balance your ego, you don't have to believe it, but at least practically do it. You reach to a point where you will lower the, levels of your ego. And it's a practical procedure. So like you said, we have a a platform. Instead of taking all the attention, let's pass the attention to others.

Giannos Tran  [00:21:15]:

So that's a way of, lowering your ego levels. When you're asked on how did you do stuff, you include your team. When you are asked if you are successful, you take the opportunity to define success in order to take away the, the attention on, talking about yourself. So in a way for me, people with levels of, with high levels of ego. They will actually, it's a process where you harm yourself Mhmm. Because we live in a society where individualism counts, but at the same time you need to part of a team. So if you wanna grow a team, you need to think of other people's feelings, other people's, goals and stuff. And the good thing about podcasting is that you provide people the attention they need through you.

Giannos Tran  [00:22:24]:

So you are you, but at the same time, you promote others. And it's it's really interesting because that process gives you back.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:22:39]:

Yes.

Giannos Tran  [00:22:40]:

Yeah. I remember when we started doing our podcast, I was I I was talking like 60% of the episodes time, and I had a guest. That was egoistic act. Okay? It came from a good place though. I mean, you know, it's something that you learn through process, and I was getting messages and DMs from people saying that, Jano, shut up. You are hosting Stefanos. We wanna hear what Stefanos has to say. We don't wanna listen to what you're gonna say, and that hurt my ego.

Giannos Tran  [00:23:22]:

What do you mean? You don't like me? I mean, me. It's my show. I'm I'm projecting myself. And it took me some time to understand that and realize that by lowering the percentage of talk within an episode to 10%, it actually gives you the results of, the, of the, you know remember when I was saying that I wanted to project and Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:23:58]:

Mhmm. From God

Giannos Tran  [00:23:59]:

back to

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:23:59]:

your goal On reaching out the wider audience.

Giannos Tran  [00:24:01]:

Back the light of attention to you without even,

Hélène Ioannides [00:24:06]:

Having to try so hard.

Giannos Tran  [00:24:07]:

Having to top for like more than 10%. That was my first understanding of how to control my ego. Mhmm. And it helped me a lot when because I'm working with a team. And in order for a team to succeed and have the members of the team, follow a certain path, you need to accredit them. You need to support them. You need to, encourage them. So, again, you need to lower your ego because everybody needs the reward of I was the one that did it.

Hélène Ioannides [00:24:45]:

Yeah. That validation. Validation. Yeah. Does it matter? Matt people don't people appreciate you?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:24:53]:

I think people don't know themselves. And we as you said, we we need the external old sources

Hélène Ioannides [00:24:59]:

To validate us.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:25:00]:

To validate us unless you reach to a point that you build such a high self esteem About yourself.

Hélène Ioannides [00:25:06]:

You know who you are.

Giannos Tran  [00:25:06]:

And you start from the small things.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:25:08]:

Yes. Start exactly from the small things.

Giannos Tran  [00:25:10]:

I'll tell you something. When you order fries Okay? Mhmm. Everybody loves fries. Mhmm. Here's the thing. And you order a portion of fries, and you have for family members. Are you gonna take the 1st bite?

Hélène Ioannides [00:25:27]:

I would.

Giannos Tran  [00:25:28]:

You would.

Hélène Ioannides [00:25:29]:

Yes. They're there.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:25:30]:

They're like you're like desperate to touch a big

Giannos Tran  [00:25:34]:

look. What I did honestly, what I did I love fries. Okay? What I started doing when my kids were growing, you know, I was, like, offering the the the 1st piece to them. The 1st piece out of the pizza. So this practical minor thing of, letting others, take the credit. Mhmm. Mhmm. In our case.

Hélène Ioannides [00:26:10]:

Yeah.

Giannos Tran  [00:26:11]:

The the the chip. It it helps you get to a point where not being, selfish, it's your identity. Mhmm. It's not something that you are. It's something yet that you, like a sculpture where

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:26:30]:

you train yourself.

Giannos Tran  [00:26:31]:

Train yourself in the Fries.

Hélène Ioannides [00:26:32]:

That's what I was gonna say, moo, the fries. Not that you Oh, okay. Unconsciously, you are picking it first, but if you yeah, it's a discipline yourself. Survival thing. Yeah. To say It's fat. You first.

Giannos Tran  [00:26:43]:

It's fat. You need fat. You need it first.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:26:46]:

Was was there something in your life That made you come into this realization of people having big egos. Because ego is being built when we start associating ourself With things. Country, football team, religion.

Giannos Tran  [00:27:04]:

Business. Political party.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:27:06]:

So Was there a time in your in your life? Because, we know, but maybe our viewers do not know that You're of mixed origin. Right? You have a mixed cultural background, like, in general, all separate Where

Hélène Ioannides [00:27:23]:

are you from?

Giannos Tran  [00:27:23]:

I'm half Vietnamese.

Hélène Ioannides [00:27:24]:

Okay. And half it means half Cypriot.

Giannos Tran  [00:27:27]:

Yeah. Okay. 50% Cypriot. A 100%, 50% Cypriot.

Hélène Ioannides [00:27:34]:

Did that play a role?

Giannos Tran  [00:27:36]:

No. Not at all. I grew up in a time where, Cyprus were, we're really in inclusive with foreigners. Yeah? Yeah. Back in the eighties. Don't you remember? It was a time where there. I mean, the world was very different. We didn't have the things with illegal migration and stuff.

Giannos Tran  [00:27:59]:

Our economy our economy right right after 1974 was catching up. Mhmm. People had money. People you know? It was a good time to be alive, you know, the eighties.

Hélène Ioannides [00:28:14]:

Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:28:15]:

With the music industry, the movies, the so back then, when my father and I came from, from abroad, my mother was, was in university. She was still, in Vietnam? No. In in in Russia. Okay. In Russia. When my father and I, came to Cyprus. He didn't speak any Greek at all.

Hélène Ioannides [00:28:44]:

How old were you?

Giannos Tran  [00:28:45]:

At 3 years old. Okay. Yeah. I was speaking Russian. He was speaking Vietnamese, not even English. And,

Hélène Ioannides [00:28:53]:

So you lived in Russia?

Giannos Tran  [00:28:55]:

Yeah, up to the age of 3 because Okay. That the time was in in Moscow. Yeah. In Moscow, not in Belarus. So vague. I was born there. My father finished his studies, then he needed to decide word to head off, and they decided to come to Cyprus. But my mother still had couple of years to, finish her degree.

Giannos Tran  [00:29:20]:

And we came in Cyprus. I was raised by by by my grandmother. I went to, you know, public school. I I, I was, I I never felt racism to be honest. Mhmm. And sometimes, I I I try to, you know, tweet to I question it. Is it was it because of my character? Was it because of my but I believe that it was a time where were really, you know, away from racist stuff, away from all that social, you know, isolation.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:30:02]:

What does father know a guy that was easily adaptable?

Giannos Tran  [00:30:06]:

Yeah. Very.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:30:06]:

So maybe you might have picked up certain Of his trades.

Giannos Tran  [00:30:10]:

Yeah. My father, I would say that he's not a selfish guy. He's very, very, very, giving person. He's all he always thinks of others. He has that, you know, Zen way of approaching things. You don't need to fight. You don't need to get mad with that. But I was really you know, when, yeah, when I was younger, I was really, I had my confidence level at a very low point because we are boys.

Giannos Tran  [00:30:44]:

We want to be part of, you know, a gang and you and you try to You

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:30:48]:

wanna belong.

Giannos Tran  [00:30:49]:

Yeah, you wanna belong. And in order for you to belong, you need to, like, learn from Yeah. Play football. Do stuff you don't like in order to be part of

Hélène Ioannides [00:30:58]:

To be accepted?

Giannos Tran  [00:30:58]:

Yeah. Yeah. That's that's when you kill your ego. That's when you become what society wants it to be. And it's quite logical, but Mhmm. Through time you realize that society and people should accept who you are and how you, view the world. Your

Hélène Ioannides [00:31:24]:

your own individualism.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:31:25]:

Not the other way around.

Giannos Tran  [00:31:26]:

Not the other way around.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:31:27]:

Becoming part of what's society.

Giannos Tran  [00:31:30]:

Role models to Expect

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:31:32]:

you to.

Giannos Tran  [00:31:32]:

Guide you, and it's not a process that takes a day or a week to,

Hélène Ioannides [00:31:37]:

I

Giannos Tran  [00:31:37]:

mean, I might be very selfish in in in some things even today. Business, family, father and son relationship. But, again, it's a a never ending process. Yes. Yeah. We set up the beginning that doesn't have an end point where you say, okay. My ego. Now it's at any at an equilibrium point of, where you are, let's say, okay.

Giannos Tran  [00:32:05]:

You're not selfish.

Hélène Ioannides [00:32:08]:

As long as we're in these human bodies, we would always have the ego as part of ourselves. It's not

Hélène Ioannides [00:32:14]:

it's a survival. Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:32:15]:

It's there to protect you. Yeah, at the end of the day. But, you need to really think where and when am I gonna use it? Is it based am am I gonna use it because of my values, because of my morals, because of my goal? Yep. Anything else. If, for example, a guy cuts me off on the street, I'm not gonna get really get mad at him because He disobeyed certain traffic rules. I might get a little bit more upset if I have my kids, in the car, and I get scared, but I'm not gonna go into a tangent of, you know, go out unlikely way. Exactly. It's just gonna waste my energy.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:33:00]:

It's just gonna make me upset.

Giannos Tran  [00:33:01]:

Does it really matter? Day. Are you gonna change what happened

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:33:04]:

in us.

Hélène Ioannides [00:33:05]:

Or change him. You can't.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:33:07]:

Yeah. He might be having a bad day. He might be Mhmm. He might have not slept at night. His kid might be sick. There there are a lot of things that we we do not understand what people are going through. We're not

Giannos Tran  [00:33:20]:

empathizing enough. And and again, Stefano, it's a practical thing. You need to exercise controlling your ego. Unique to exercise controlling your emotions. And a way to do it, it's to imagine stuff and try to act on those thoughts without even happening. For example, yesterday, I told my team that we need to wire ourselves on failure. What are you what are we gonna do? So that when failure comes, emotions are kept under control, and you act with logical thinking. So controlling your ego, it's controlling your feelings.

Giannos Tran  [00:34:17]:

And training to control your feelings helps you balance your ego. And, again, it's a process that never ends.

Hélène Ioannides [00:34:30]:

with regards to the emotional aspect there, I feel like though Because a lot of the work that I do is not about controlling the emotions, but actually working with the emotions to understand Isn't it the same thing, though? So it's bringing awareness to the emotion and not necessarily responding to it or responding as and when is needed, but Being aware of it, not allowing the emotion to take control over you Yeah. To the point that you are having, you know, swearing at the person that's coming in the car.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:35:05]:

Says it could be failure.

Giannos Tran  [00:35:07]:

It could be a hate comment.

Hélène Ioannides [00:35:10]:

I was gonna ask you about that because on our podcast and as I've seen with Many of the episodes that you put out there, you get so much shit.

Giannos Tran  [00:35:23]:

A lot of success. Deal with it? It's just data.

Hélène Ioannides [00:35:26]:

It's just data. That's how your perception of it.

Giannos Tran  [00:35:28]:

They don't exist.

Hélène Ioannides [00:35:29]:

Okay.

Giannos Tran  [00:35:30]:

They don't exist because the online world, it's a fake world. Mhmm. But it's a projection of how people think.

Giannos Tran  [00:35:38]:

I had a lot of comments in DMs same things about me. And when people throw arrows at you, if you are, like, trained to, I mean, you know, have a shield. They're gonna not they're not gonna penetrate you. If you're soft, they're gonna penetrate your body and they're gonna create a wound. Mhmm. An imaginary one. But if you train yourself not, you know, giving context to the comment. And there will be a time where it will be just like, okay.

Giannos Tran  [00:36:13]:

Bring it on. Mhmm. I need more comments. The video needs to get more views. And sometimes I respond to them in order in order to make them comment even more. Mhmm.

Hélène Ioannides [00:36:26]:

But How do you respond?

Giannos Tran  [00:36:28]:

In a very polite and gentle manner.

Hélène Ioannides [00:36:31]:

Okay. So it's from a place of love, essentially. It's not from a place

Giannos Tran  [00:36:34]:

of attacking. From a place of neutrality. Understood. Neutrality, I would say.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:36:39]:

Mhmm. Maybe understanding who you're dealing with, I presume.

Giannos Tran  [00:36:44]:

It happens automatically. It's like a feature now. It's like a plug in me.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:36:49]:

You became AI?

Giannos Tran  [00:36:51]:

Yeah. There was a person month ago, he wrote exactly. I'm I'm gonna try to recall his words exactly. And I was laughing. And and the guys at the back at the studio were like, let's comment back. And I was like, why? Why comment back. He needs attention. Why should I give him my attention? I mean Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:37:20]:

I mean I

Hélène Ioannides [00:37:20]:

didn't hear the comment.

Giannos Tran  [00:37:21]:

He said, your IQ is very low. You're stupid. You don't know how stupid you are. And I will advise you to do an IQ test and realize that you're stupid, and you will thank me later. And I and I I don't know why someone Wow. Might I'm I I mean, there are people out there that are, like, so mean. And and I was, like, laughing, and I was staring at the comment. And I was like, you know, the practical thing.

Giannos Tran  [00:38:00]:

I was ready and I was thinking, okay, why? Who is that guy? Maybe he's a 12 year old. Maybe he's a 50 year old man living alone without family and stuff. And, because I don't believe that I'm stupid, it didn't hurt me.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:38:20]:

But immediately, you wanna defend yourself. Right? One to my take a deep breath milliseconds. And you and you take a step back. You're like so if I engage with this person,

Giannos Tran  [00:38:31]:

sometimes I do

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:38:32]:

basically, most of the comment. This is the thing. Whenever I I I I see comments, I'm like, first, people they don't understand who they're addressing that comment to. Being a mental health professional, you can see beyond the comment that someone is commenting. So You can respond in a way that is gonna bring a soft reflection and kind of destroy them, or you could decide to accept it And just allow it to be and exist because it's another voice. It could be a reflection of themselves. The best response actually that I've seen, and Helene can correct me on that, it was when a man commented on a woman's body about cellulite. That, what are you doing? You're disgusting and blah blah blah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:39:31]:

And and and she responded in a way because when you read that and you are a woman, cellular is absolutely normal for any woman. She responded back, kindness, brother, above all. So she responded with love despite the fact that that comment It actually works. It It hurt her, but what she was doing, she was basically coming from a place of love of showing women how to accept their body. Because if she's putting her body online

Hélène Ioannides [00:40:05]:

Which is hard in itself. Hard

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:40:06]:

what she does love.

Giannos Tran  [00:40:08]:

And usually, you you take the hater out of guard.

Giannos Tran  [00:40:14]:

mean, they Mhmm. Are ready to fight.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:40:18]:

Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:40:18]:

But if you give them something else, you you shock them. There are times where we respond. There was a guy that, he wrote that mostly men, to be honest. Anyways, he wrote that you need to learn how to speak Greek. You are uneducated. Mhmm. Get yourself a vocabulary. And I remember responding, having my name at the end of, the end of the comment replying, I know.

Giannos Tran  [00:40:55]:

I try to become better. It's a it's a thing that takes time. It's a process. Keep up with me and watch it happening. And he responded, woah. I wasn't expecting that answer back. I really appreciate it.

Hélène Ioannides [00:41:14]:

Lovely. You just got yourself a fan there.

Giannos Tran  [00:41:16]:

I took it on the chain. I mean, if listen. Says that if you wanna give it a job or a right hook. You need to able to take it. That's boxing rules. Stefanos knows. So you need to train yourself and set a strong chin to take punches to take failures and and and certain situations that are not under your radar in order to, be ready to handle them.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:41:57]:

It's it's quite remarkable. I think I don't wanna, I don't know what is expression. Blow your own, horn.

Hélène Ioannides [00:42:06]:

I say that. I don't, Yeah. Blow your own trumpet. But I I don't even

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:42:09]:

know your own trumpet. Expression like that. So it is very difficult, and and most people don't understand this, that Expressing your opinion online. It's and basically, expressing your your opinion. I'm not talking about scientific facts over here. Like, Stefanos is speaking, I don't know, about his personal life, about his opinion on a specific topic. You basically exposing to the outside world a piece of your mind. You're basically naked for anyone To say, oh, look, your penis is small.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:42:45]:

Oh, your boobs are saggy. This takes a lot of courage. And especially what we're doing, I wanna believe that it comes from a place of love. It we don't we're not anymore in the point in our life where we seek external validation to feel fulfilled in our life. We're doing this because we wanna see The world changing, not only for us, but also for our children.

Giannos Tran  [00:43:18]:

I would say evolve.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:43:19]:

Evolve. Evolve. Thank you for, for correcting. So I wanna ask you. In your life, What were the biggest challenges that you faced to find your own voice to find your courage, to understand things, more things about yourself.

Hélène Ioannides [00:43:46]:

Christian.

Giannos Tran  [00:43:49]:

That's a good one. I never

Hélène Ioannides [00:43:53]:

Was there a specific points? You know? Like, maybe something.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:43:59]:

You can speak freely, and we can cut

Giannos Tran  [00:44:00]:

it later. Much. Sure. I'm I'm I'm I'm scanning my, memory folders now. To be honest

Hélène Ioannides [00:44:09]:

AI, where are you?

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:44:10]:

If you say nothing, I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna call you.

Giannos Tran  [00:44:15]:

I'm trying to think of, a tough situation. Maybe. I don't know. I was asked again, like, 2 years ago on another podcast. Tell me about a failure of yours, and I was and I found it really, really difficult for me to, to say something. Maybe maybe this is because I or we fail every day. It's part of our, you know, and training process where failure, it's not a moment anymore milestone that makes us better or change changes the path of our, you know, of our course on something. Mhmm.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:45:07]:

Make a lesson.

Giannos Tran  [00:45:08]:

Yeah. So, again, if you, and I'm and, and I'm not trying to be smart here, but if you are consistently thinking that you have a lot of failures like losing a client. Mhmm. Your SD card from your Canada trip with Luis gets lost. Summer. True story. Maybe you had a fight with your wife. Maybe

Hélène Ioannides [00:45:36]:

True story.

Giannos Tran  [00:45:36]:

Yeah. Again, true story. Maybe maybe you you you I don't know. Maybe you stole money from your mother's wallet back when you were younger, maybe a lot of maybes. But when you when you wired yourself of accepting those failures all the time, Then you create, line where failure, it's not a a thing in time where it changes you.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:46:15]:

That you have learned from mishaps, from trial and error from failing or from the challenges that you faced in life. What are the lessons that you learned From certain challenges that you faced in the past, or if you would like to share with us right now, What are the lessons that you're, trying to learn from the challenges that you're facing right now in your current life.

Giannos Tran  [00:46:52]:

Okay. So there are 2 things happening in my life now. It's family in business. I don't think of nothing else. Mhmm. No football, no movies know nothing. I'm really obsessed with those 2 things. Maybe maybe, a lesson that I get every day is, how to grow my relationship with, my family members.

Giannos Tran  [00:47:26]:

Mhmm. As a father, and as a husband because on on the business aspect of things, they're not really important. You have a lot of, trial trial and errors happening every day where you learn if you are gonna be charging a client more less or a video that you did and you uploaded and it sucked, and next time you're gonna make it better. This is a, a challenge that, to be honest, it it's not really important. It's a business lesson that it it keeps going on and on. But on, on on the things that matter when it comes to family, maybe, let's say, huge a huge huge argument that, I had with my wife made me realize that, okay, that fight and that, the thing to have in mind, let me conclude is that unique to,

Giannos Tran  [00:48:33]:

work on, the mistakes, that you did. For example, the the words you, said to the person, you love or maybe you hit your son for the most stupidest reason. For me for me, I'm I'm truly very honest now. These are the challenges that I face every day in my life and matter to become better. Be a better father, whatever that means, and be the a better husband, whatever that means. And by, again, going coming back to the ego thing by lowering your ego levels. It makes the other part feel, better, and that are the other part, gives back his love, his, well-being back to you. So, again, it's another way to feed yourself with, with the attributes that at first are being seeked by behavior, an egoistic behavior.

Giannos Tran  [00:49:45]:

And I'm trying to think of a failure that it changed my life. I really can remember

Hélène Ioannides [00:49:51]:

I think your perception to it is how it is. I feel like you you even said it. It's a lesson. You call it a business lesson. The way you've worded it is that

Giannos Tran  [00:50:01]:

you I I don't have an example of, let's say, I slip with another woman and, that created a

Hélène Ioannides [00:50:09]:

You know we're gonna use this for the real?

Giannos Tran  [00:50:10]:

No. I don't care because I I I never did, but just for example, I mean, many will resonate with that. I never slept with another woman, and my wife found out and then our relationship one to, you know Mhmm. I never had, like, I I I didn't get fired because I did something that changed. I think that I did, to be honest, it has to do with football. Did did you know that I was part of the board of direct source of, ammonia.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:50:44]:

No. No. I was. With Apple.

Giannos Tran  [00:50:47]:

Yeah. No. No. No. No. For 6 months, I was chasing a seat to my team's, board of directors because I thought I will change the world around the club and stuff. And, when I actually managed to grab a seat, I realized that the the idea you have on something that you're unaware of, and v s, the reality of, actually being there. Mhmm.

Giannos Tran  [00:51:33]:

Makes you realize that we always set expectations and we create a world where we think things are.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:51:44]:

And at

Giannos Tran  [00:51:45]:

the end of the day, they are totally different. And that make me re made me realize that, I need to focus on the stuff that matter. I need to stop being passionate and aggressive with, let's say, football because it doesn't really worth it. So that might be challenge because during my, during the time where I was trying to become a member of the board of directors of, Umuya Club. I was fighting. I was, I was being aggressive. I was getting into, you know, beefs online with people. I was, I was threatening people.

Hélène Ioannides [00:52:28]:

So you were the online bully?

Giannos Tran  [00:52:30]:

No. It was back and forth. I mean, it it was a beef. Yeah. But you know how football it is in Cyprus. Yeah. And I was a a person where I was that people it was the definition of. Aggressive, very close minded, and you cannot have a chat with him.

Giannos Tran  [00:52:50]:

For a money or for football or with. What made you change?

Hélène Ioannides [00:52:54]:

You sound like a different person.

Giannos Tran  [00:52:55]:

When I when I managed to be part of the team.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:52:59]:

So and I'm gonna use the same expression and the same phrase That you've used on the podcast that we've done together on netcast. Expectations

Giannos Tran  [00:53:11]:

Yeah.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:53:12]:

Reality. Because When we have expectations about something that most of the times is a utopic world, they don't represent The ideals that we have formed about a person, about a company, about a job

Giannos Tran  [00:53:29]:

About never negative thinking.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:53:31]:

Yes. I want negative thinking.

Giannos Tran  [00:53:32]:

You worry about stuff that never 90% never gonna happen. I mean, it's,

Hélène Ioannides [00:53:37]:

We live in our heads. Yeah.

Giannos Tran  [00:53:38]:

You live in

Hélène Ioannides [00:53:39]:

our heads.

Giannos Tran  [00:53:39]:

I mean, something as a tip to fellow business owners. Never call your team member on Friday. Mhmm. And ask him, I wanna see you on Monday morning. Yeah. Because you create, The worst thing. A thing where the other person thinks of a negative, outcome, and this is what we are saying. I mean, expectations and reality.

Giannos Tran  [00:54:12]:

And most of the time, that gap. It's usually negative because we are filled with negative assumptions. It's a I think it's a

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:54:22]:

We're inclined. We're inclined. As humans, we're

Giannos Tran  [00:54:24]:

and, and and by that example is the the approach you need to always have in situations is it's okay. It's not something that, you know, gonna be disturbing because most of the time, that's real their reality.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:54:47]:

Yeah. No. Thank you very much

Giannos Tran  [00:54:48]:

Thanks a lot, guys.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:54:49]:

For being here with us.

Giannos Tran  [00:54:51]:

I I hope, way you had a good time with me as well.

Hélène Ioannides [00:54:54]:

We did. We did. It was it was

Giannos Tran  [00:54:56]:

quite challenging in, having the podcast in English because we are, you know, it's difficult to, you know

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:55:02]:

To shift your mind around.

Giannos Tran  [00:55:03]:

Shift your mind around. You did great. I'm looking forward for a next meetup. I don't know.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:55:08]:

Very nurturing, the conversations that we had, today and a lot of things for our audience to think about for themselves. So for those of you that would like to reach out, don't hesitate to send us your comments, and we will definitely respond.

Hélène Ioannides [00:55:23]:

Thanks for watching. Thank you. Ciao. Thank you so much for watching this episode. It's been an absolute pleasure filming it for you guys. If you like the work that we are out into the world. Please make sure you like this video and you subscribe to our channel. It really helps the work that we do.

Dr. Stephanos Ioannou [00:55:40]:

And if you would like to follow our journey on our IG accounts as well as learn more about our services, we provide everything for you in the description below. Thanks for watching.